thoughts by natalie.

wasting time.

2012-03-02T07:00:00.000-06:00

This print makes me feel relieved and happy. I tend to feel guilty about "wasting time" doing unproductive things: watching Barefoot Contessa (my favorite show), reading Whole Living or Real Simple, taking a long walk by myself, perusing Pinterest, reading blogs.

I feel like those are selfish, time-passing and time-wasting activities. But that's absolutely untrue. As long as we're not neglecting real commitments, we do ourselves a favor by wasting time doing what we enjoy. It gives us time and space to dream, learn, imagine, rest and boost our creativity—all good things in my book (and things that really do ultimately make us more productive...how great is that?).

Happy Friday, friends. Let's waste some time today.

What's your favorite way to "waste time"?

coffee talk.

2012-03-01T11:21:00.000-06:00

This week I started working at my new coworking space in Austin, Perch CoWorking. It's been so nice to have a space to go to everyday to work that is neither a crowded, noisy coffee shop nor a deafeningly silent apartment. There's just the right amount of noise, lots of light, and plenty of free coffee to keep us all buzzing through our day.

I haven't always been a coffee drinker, but after living with Becca and marrying Brian (they are both quite the coffee enthusiasts), I've grown to love the way it smells, tastes and energizes. In the morning I like it with soy, and through the rest of the day I tend to drink it black. Whenever I'm at a coffee shop, I'm sure to get a cafe au lait—half coffee, half steamed milk.

Though coffee was once thought to be a bad habit, research has shown that consuming coffee regularly offers many health benefits*—woo!

Contains antioxidants that have been linked to reducing risk for Alzheimer's and Parkinson's diseases.
Blocks inflammation to the brain.
Compounds found in it may limit cancer cell growth and DNA damage.
A daily cup has been shown to reduce risk of oral cancer by half.
Two to five cups of regular coffee daily may help lower risk for nonmelanoma skin cancer by up to 17%.
It's chlorogenic acid may help prevent insulin resistance, and therefore reduces risk of Type 2 Diabetes.

See? A daily java habit is good for the mind, body and soul. Drink up!

Are you a java fan? How do you take your coffee?

*Data from Self Magazine's The Ultimate Superdrink.

a great adventure.

2012-02-29T10:23:00.000-06:00

During our engagement, our premarital counselors Curt and Rhonda shared a G.K. Chesterton quote with us to give us a healthy perspective on the challenges that can come with marriage, and it has stuck with me ever since:

An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered. An inconvenience is an adventure wrongly considered.

It's often tempting to look at the inconveniences in life as, well, inconveniences. But when we choose to change our attitude and perspective (as I'm constantly trying to do), we will all see that adventure lies ahead, and life will just be a whole lot more fun, won't it?

Do you view your life as an adventure? When has a great inconvenience in your life turned into a grand adventure?

darkest before the dawn.

2012-02-28T10:26:00.000-06:00

"It's always darkest before the dawn."
Florence + The Machine

That line is reminiscent of Switchfoot's The Shadow Proves the Sunshine, but of course it does carry a different meaning. While Switchfoot's song alluded to the evidence of ultimate good because darkness exists, I take Florence's lyric to be more about the hope that comes when we're at our breaking point.

I confess, working alone can be a wonderful thing or my worst nightmare (you extroverts out there know what I'm talking about, I'm sure). It seems all of my good days are great days, and my bad days seem endlessly lonely and unproductive. I've found that listening to positive, soulful music helps me stay inspired throughout the tough days—this song being one of them.

Every time I hear Florence sing "It's always darkest before the dawn," I remember that just as a bursting, fiery sunrise can follow a dark, moonless night, tough days are always followed by good days eventually. Each day is new and carries new hope, and it's that hope that always carries me through moments, days and at times even months where life is less-than-ideal.

What gets you through your tough days? What do Florence's lyrics mean to you?

glamour in the soul.

2012-02-27T10:01:00.000-06:00

While watching the Oscars last night, I found myself thinking countless times about how much more glamorous those celebrities are than I am (comparison really is the great thief of joy). As I lusted over their gorgeous dresses, perfect hair and skin, and poised postures, I started to feel frumpy. Average. Forgettable.

Then I woke up this morning and stumbled upon this lovely little nugget from Elizabeth Taylor:

“I’ve come to the realization that it doesn’t matter whether you have no money or don’t own the most expensive clothes. Glamour isn’t about who you’re wearing or what’s trending. You cannot buy it or possess it. Glamour is in your soul.”

Rather than feel less-than by comparing myself to other, more glamorous women, I need to find my own inner glamour. Comparison will get me nowhere, but acceptance and appreciation of my own unique glamour will only make me that much more radiant and confident. After all, confidence is the best accessory, isn't it?

What does glamour look like to you? When do you feel most glamorous?

weekend reading.

2012-02-24T08:48:00.000-06:00

In an effort to stay connected and keep our minds sharp and curious, my college girlfriends and I have started a virtual book club. This weekend I'll once again be taking advantage of some free time to settle in with a hot cup of tea and our enthralling pick: The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks. Our first meeting will take place via Google Hangouts on March 20th, and I can't wait to her what my best girls thought of this fascinating nonfiction story.

Are you in a book club? What are you reading lately--whether for a club or just your own pleasure?

no shortcuts.

2012-02-23T10:16:00.000-06:00

I've always been a person of efficiency. I like to get the most bang for my buck with my time, and I'm always looking for the fastest or easiest way to get something checked off my list. While this can be a great quality when it comes to simple tasks during the work day (and impressing employers), it's a really bad one when it comes to character development and personal growth.

The truth is, we need to sit in the grit if we ever want to grow into the women we've been designed to become. We can't skip over the hard work of learning how to be kind, joyful, generous, compassionate, loving, and confident. Have you ever tried to muster up those qualities? It only works for a little while, then our true selves come out. When we try to take the easy route, our willpower always fails us.

Everything worth doing requires hard work and patience. Are you sad? Let yourself feel the sadness for a bit. Are you angry? Do some journaling to dig deeper and find out the root cause. Are you happy today? Take some time to write down what you're thankful for. Let's refuse to settle for the coping mechanisms we've settled for in the past in order to avoid true growth (zoning out in front of the TV, being over-committed, turning to food).

Let's be the kind of women who don't shy away from challenges. Let's check our pride at the door and surrender ourselves to God, who is able and eager to help us become radiant, beautiful women. As we work through difficult times (and practice gratitude when life is going smoothly), we will authentically cultivate those qualities we desire but have avoided developing for so long—no willpower required.

Do you tend to avoid challenges, or face them head-on? When have you taken the time to work through a tough time and come out a stronger/better person on the other side of it?

not magnificent.

2012-02-22T09:06:00.000-06:00

"And at once I knew I was not magnificent."
Bon Iver

I write a lot about insecurity, low self-esteem and poor body image, but rarely to I venture into the world of pride. As I listened to Bon Iver while working yesterday, I found myself fixated on that one sentence: and at once I knew I was not magnificent.

While often we suffer from the issues I just mentioned, I think we are also prone to think too highly of ourselves. We are prideful about what we look like, how much money we make, our test scores, how many friends we have (whether in real life or on social sites). We can even be self-righteous and have an unhealthy pride about how holy or good we think we are (always a dangerous road, if you ask me).

When we believe the lies that tell us we're high and mighty, we fail to recognize that indeed we are not magnificent. That quality belongs to God alone, and only through becoming more like Him—kind, generous, compassionate, loving, etc—can we dare dream of becoming that way too.

When have you realized that you're not as magnificent as you thought? How did it impact your life and/or change your behavior?

love + mumford.

2012-02-21T15:46:00.000-06:00

Any Mumford & Sons fans out there? Today I absolutely cannot stop listening to them. While all of their music is powerful and moving, there are a few specific lyrics on love from their songs that strike a chord in me every time I hear them:

Do these lyrics strike a chord in you also? What do they mean to you today?

beauty, aging, and being ourselves.

2012-02-20T11:11:00.000-06:00

In light of the inspiring and thought-provoking article by Adrienne Sandvos posted on Darling Magazine's site yesterday, I wanted to share some quotes and my own personal thoughts. Please share your own comments below—you know I love a good beauty discussion :)

"The truth is that our bodies often tell a story, but there are some truths we don’t want to actually see. It goes without saying that any physical sign of aging is generally rejected in the media world, thus setting a standard of beauty that is inseparable from the appearance of youth. Attributes that may have once testified to life experience and wisdom are now worn like a scarlet letter."

This could not be more true—from a very young age, we women are told (sometimes implicitly, and sometimes explicitly) that aging is not okay. We are considered "in our prime" in college and our early twenties, and after that we're supposed to mourn the loss of our former beautiful selves. As a result, we feel guilt and shame about our appearance and value as we age, and we spend our entire adult lives trying to return to our 20-something selves.

"We want to control the content of the message that others read when they look at us, along with our skewed interpretation we’ve developed when we look into the mirror."

Adrienne points out that sometimes we try to manipulate our appearance because we don't like the story people see when they look at us. Again, shame and guilt are in the picture. I think in many ways we try to retain our youth as a means of erasing some of the pain and mistakes we make as we age. We attempt to delete failures and rejection by making ourselves seem perfect and brand-new.

"As women, we have to love truth more than we love control if we are ever going to be able to love ourselves and others unconditionally. We have to learn to be OK with what is instead of feeding the silent beast of self-hatred by trying to force what is not. If we don’t, the original story gets lost in the pile of revisions....When we put the pen down and stop trying to rewrite the story, we may discover and enjoy a different kind of beauty altogether."

Truth must always win over our need for control, power, comfort or approval. We need to understand first that we are already loved as we are (by the One who created us) if we ever hope to love who we really are. The longer we try to change ourselves because of self-hatred, the longer we will live lives of guilt, shame and regret rather than peace, acceptance and gratitude. Let's be original versions of ourselves rather than copies of someone else.

For more thoughts on the beauty in aging, please read my previous post on the topic, growing into beauty.

What are your thoughts on aging, beauty and being our original selves?

go do.

2012-02-17T11:18:00.000-06:00

Go do. Two words that can mean so many different things to so many different people. Two simple words that command action on our part. Two words that impact how our days, our months and our years will look:

Today, those words mean trying out a new coworking space, because I know that working out of my apartment just won't result in the kind of work I know I'm capable of producing.
This month, they mean moving to a brand new city and diving right in: meeting new friends, picking a new church, and finally adopting a dog to share my love with.
This year, they've meant taking a leap of faith to finally have a career that I'm proud of, and one I know I can excel at.

What do these two words mean for you today? This month? This year?

love, acceptance + gratitude: thoughts on yoga.

2012-02-16T08:00:00.000-06:00

This week I went to yoga for the first time since reading this article by Mark Driscoll about the spiritual conflict that exists when Christians practice yoga. I must say, his article was well-written, thoroughly researched and thought-provoking. And while I whole-heartedly agreed with him for a few months, I’ve recently changed my mind on the subject and thought I’d share my reasons with you girls.

My resistance to yoga was certainly impacted by my year of living in Encinitas, CA, which—to those of you who are unfamiliar with its reputation—is essentially the yoga capital of the US, or at least the west coast. While working at lululemon, I tried several yoga classes around town (thanks to my free fitness class benefits) and I was hardpressed to find a class that wasn’t spiritual.

Now, I 100% understand that yoga is originally intended to be a spiritual practice in order to connect with the Hindu concept of God; however, I do believe that the movements done in yoga can be separated from worship. Every studio is different and exists for different purposes. Yes, there are plenty of studios that lean toward the spiritual practice of yoga; but there are probably just as many that teach yoga for the purpose of exercise, stress-relief and flexibility.

Yoga promotes love, acceptance and gratitude (not to mention peace and healthy body image) in a way that no other exercise ever has for me. It teaches me to be thankful for the body I have been given, and to live a life of compassion—for myself and for others around me. Those are all qualities that I strive for as someone who follows Christ, and they do not in any way conflict with my faith; in fact, I find that yoga helps me grow deeper in my relationship with God.

Each time I take those deep yoga breaths and work through difficult new poses, I understand that I am capable of more than I realized; I see that I have a greater power within me (which I know as the Holy Spirit), and that through that power I can trust that I will not be overcome by my circumstances and surroundings.

What are your feelings about yoga? Love it or hate it? Let's discuss!

P.S. After I posted this, my new blogger friend Bonnie told me about Holy Yoga and their response to the Mark Driscoll article. Definitely worth a read—thanks for sharing, Bonnie!

happy valentine's day: you're a gem.

2012-02-14T06:26:00.000-06:00

In honor of Valentine's Day today, I wanted to share some cute little e-valentines by Kate Spade New York for you to share with your girlfriends or your special someone. Below are a few of my favorites, and you can find all of the designs on their blog or Facebook page here and here:

Sharing is simple! Just choose how you want to spread the love, and you'll be sure to make someone's day today...

Email: Download your favorite e-valentine via the kate spade Facebook album, b mine, and send that image to your friend with a nice little message in the email body.
Share via FB: Whether it be on your own wall (and thus to all of your beloved friends), on someone special's wall, or via FB message, you can share your favorite valentine by clicking on the image from the FB album, and clicking on the share button. Use the drop-down menu to choose where the love will go.
Tweet: Download it and add the image to your tweet, mentioning the person you want to receive it—and don't forget to mention @katespadeny, too!

Above all, know this: YOU ARE LOVED!! Do you have a valentine this year? How are you celebrating this day of love?

P.S. This flirty one is definitely going to Brian today, haha...

misplaced obsession: overcoming idolatry.

2012-02-13T11:51:00.000-06:00

This post is entirely inspired by the sermon we heard this weekend at The Austin Stone. It's the third part of a series, and while I haven't heard the first two parts quite yet, you can listen to part one and part two through the Austin Stone sermons page.

First things first...what is idolatry? On a basic level, idolatry happens when we try to satisfy our eternal desires with non-eternal things. What do you think is the most important thing—all that you think about and all that you care about? Identify that, and you have your idol right there. You see, eternity (and eternal things and values) have been placed on our hearts since the very start:

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. (Ecclesiastes 3:11 NIV)

We are discontent with so many things in our lives: our jobs or classes, our salaries, our boyfriends or husbands, our bodies. We obsess over those areas of discontentment, but we fail to see that created things cannot heal eternal needs for love, joy and value. We act like the people described in the book of Romans:

They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen. (Romans 1:25 NIV)

Through his series, Matt (pastor at Austin Stone) identified four idols that are at the root of all of our non-God obsessions: power, control, comfort, and approval.

Personally, I really identify with the idols of control and approval. When I look back at the obsessions of my past, I see that they have always been linked to my need for control over my environment and surroundings, or they have ties to my deep desire to be loved and praised by others.

The good news (which also is difficult news) is that through our relationship with God, we will be set free from our idolatry. It's something we're promised, and something we can be certain of. God is always perfecting the good work that he began in us from the moment he knit us together in our mother's womb. Every single day of our lives, God is at work making us look more and more like Jesus—the one and only true image of perfection. It's both liberating and frustrating to come to terms with this, because while we want to experience satisfaction in God alone, we are all reluctant to let go of our obsessions.

God's desire is to set us free. While we have all let go of God a million times throughout our lives—turning away from Him to pursue something that won't satisfy—God has never let go of us. Idols are counterfeit, and they never satisfy our heart's real desires. But God's love is real, deep, and true. We are His, and He wants us to be free forever.

Which root idol(s) do you most relate to?

be back monday...

2012-02-08T09:00:00.000-06:00

Good morning, girls! As you know, Brian and I just moved from San Diego to Austin, TX. Woo! We absolutely love our new place, and have enjoyed our proximity to Ladybird Lake and the Whole Foods headquarters.

I've decided to take the week off from writing in order to focus on all of our unpacking and long lists of to-dos that come with switching states. Not to mention, taking care of our brand new pup Maggie, who we just adopted from Austin Pets Alive! Isn't she the cutest?

Be back Monday!

on confidence.

2012-02-07T10:08:00.000-06:00

I'm sad to say that my six-part series for Darling Magazine has come to an end. While I'm excited to write about different topics in the coming weeks, I've so enjoyed exploring the qualities of real beauty and applying them to my life (well, at least trying to). Below is an excerpt of my final article, which is about confidence. You can read the entire article on Darling's site here, or catch up on the whole series here.

When I was in high school, I carried myself with too much confidence. While I didn’t see it that way at the time, I now know that my confidence was rooted in pride, rather than a strong grasp of my own value and worth.

Years later when I was in college, my confidence plummeted to the ground as I battled with my body image for the first time ever (how I skipped that phase of adolescence, I have no idea). Not only did I have a negative view of my appearance, but I also had low self-esteem rooted in the self-imposed pressure to succeed at everything I set out to do. I was a mess, to say the least. The pendulum swung from one extreme to another, and I couldn’t seem to find the balance.

Some say that “confidence is the best accessory,” and while I agree to an extent, I’d argue that the statement is only true when our confidence is based on the right thing. Confidence and pride do not go together, but rather true confidence stands firmly on our understanding of who we are. [Read more here...]

How do you cultivate real confidence in your life?

spring fashion favorites.

2012-02-03T11:16:00.000-06:00

Although fall is my favorite season of all four, spring really isn't so bad. It's bright time of blooming flowers and bright colors. It's a time when the chilly air starts to wear off a bit, but the scorching sun hasn't quite arrived. Spring isn't at the top of my list, but it's not at the bottom either. With the upcoming move (we start our drive tomorrow--eek!), my focus is at an all-time low. Thus, today I'm drawing inspiration for springtime style ideas from my Pinterest personal style board...

Fun combinations of casual and dressy, courtesy of J.Crew.

Sparkly gold loafers with skinny jeans.

Stripes and shorts.

Easy, breezy skirt combos.

What are your favorite kind of outfits to wear during springtime?

hope and possibility.

2012-02-01T11:14:00.000-06:00

Today the movers are coming to pack up every little thing in our San Diego condo, except for a couple of suitcases and our trusty new Aerobed, which will be our new best friend for the next ten days or so while the moving truck travels to our new home in Texas.

I've been amazed (and thankful) that the uncertainties in my life—Brian's next job, our future city of residence, our next apartment—have now morphed into possibilities—a new church to serve in, a different place to go for a jog in the morning, new restaurants to explore, an opportunity to improve my work environment.

I was uncomfortably uncertain for several months as our future seemed to hang in the balance, but I decided to choose hope instead of fear. It was a daily choice, don't get me wrong, but it was a necessary choice. Rather than worry about what was to come, I chose to hope (and pray and trust) that God would provide whatever was supposed to come. And through that hope, he turned my uncertain future into grand possibilities.

When have you seen uncertainty turn into possibility in your life?

on generosity.

2012-01-31T15:07:00.000-06:00

Below is an excerpt of the fifth article in my six-part series on beauty for Darling Magazine. You can read the entire article on their website here.

Back in August 2009, I received an email from my now-husband saying, “Now…this is random, but just go with it and I’ll give you more details later.” He followed the sentence with an excerpt from the book of Mark in the Bible:

“Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a fraction of a penny. Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, “I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on.” (Mark 12:41-44)

After I read it, I went back and read it about fifteen more times. I was meeting him for lunch that day, and since he didn’t tell me why he’d sent the excerpt for me to read, I assumed it was something he wanted to discuss with me further. However, much to my surprise, as soon as I got to San Diego he handed me a pretty little purple box with the most beautiful necklace inside...[read more here]

When have you been on the receiving end of a generous act? How did it impact you?

live simply.

2012-01-30T11:47:00.000-06:00

This print is both pretty and true. After a weekend of packing up my entire life into brown cardboard boxes, this statement could not be more relevant to me. Brian and I agreed that we should simplify the move (and our future lives in Austin) by giving away or tossing out anything that we don't use, need or want. I admit, some items were tougher than others to look at objectively, but ultimately simplifying made me feel fantastic.

I try to live simply every day—from keeping my getting-ready routine low-key, to eating simple, healthful foods. For this week in particular, though, "live simply" means letting go of possessions that do nothing but make my closets more cluttered and my life more complicated. Simple is always better in my book.

Do you try to live simply? What does that look like in your life?

goodbye san diego, hello austin.

2012-01-26T08:49:00.000-06:00

San Diego sunset at Powerhouse Park.

I have some bittersweet news to share with you, my lovely readers and dear friends: Brian just accepted a new job, and we are MOVING TO AUSTIN, TEXAS!! I say bittersweet because there are certainly people, places and things that will be missed from the past several years we've spent in San Diego.

First, the bitter...

Karen and Greg. These two have become our best friends in San Diego. They are the friends we can call anytime, for anything. They are truly members of the home team—the kind of people for whom I don't need to put on makeup or clean up for, and who know that our fridge is their fridge. I will miss our sushi double dates, our movie nights, and all of the laughter that inevitably happens whenever we get together. Karen and Greg, please book a trip to Austin ASAP. Deal?
My women's bible study. This group has become the highlight of every week. On Tuesday mornings, I always wake up with a smile because I know I'll see the faces of those women who I confide in and learn with. I will miss each of them dearly, but especially our leader, Spring. She has the greatest gift for investing in young women, and without knowing it she has been a mentor and role model for me since the moment I met her. I know I'll find another group in Austin that I'll one day feel the same about. But until then, I'll miss my Tuesday morning bible study friends!
Beach picnics. Sadly, we are saying goodbye to the beach. My favorite time to be at the beach isn't in the heat of the day, but rather in the evening when the sun is starting to go down and the air is chilly enough that you better grab your fleece before you head out the door. During the summertime, Brian and I used to spend most of our date nights snacking on our homemade picnic foods and watching the sun set into the Pacific. I'll definitely miss those sweet times breathing in the salty air!
Starbucks (a.k.a. my office). This seems comical, but is in fact true. I go to the same Starbucks every single day, and have even become friends with many of the staff there. It's like Cheers (where everybody knows your name) when I go in there, and I will truly miss seeing their cheerful Barista faces once I'm gone.
Girlfriends. I've had a chance to make some great girlfriends in my time here in SD. Although many of them are also intending to move soon, I'll miss the sweet times we've had together while we all lived in the same city. I'll miss our coffee dates, lunches, dinner parties, and especially those fun girls nights that I just spent so much time bragging about.

And now, the sweet...

Getting a dog. This is by far the biggest perk in my book. When it first became an option for us to move to Texas, Brian made a public promise to me in front of several good friends that if we moved to Texas, he would buy me a dog. Well, friends...that time has arrived. I can't wait to find the perfect pup and bombard you with cute photos! You know you're excited too.
Closer to other friends. Leaving good friends is not fun at all. But moving closer to other friends is definitely a perk. All of Brian's best friends live in Texas, and all of their wives are absolutely amazing women of God. I kid you not, those boys married right! I'm looking forward to seeing those ladies more often and being more invested in their lives on a regular basis. Also, my friend Erin lives in Austin, and Rachel and Jenn are just a few hours away in the Dallas/Fort Worth area. It'll be fun to be able to see all those girls regularly again!
A new church. While it's tough to leave behind our church—which was just starting to feel like home—the possibility of our next church is very exciting. I love that Austin is a college town, and I look forward to having more opportunities to invest in the girls at UT through a college ministry. Also, we've been commuting a bit to our current church, but now have a chance to find a church that's closer to our new place so that we can dig in deep to the church community we choose.
Coworking space. Though it will pain me to say goodbye to my beloved Starbucks, I plan to start working from a coworking space once we get to Austin. If you don't know what that is, it's essentially an office full of people who don't work for the same company So fun, right? Last week I shared 10 thoughts for winter, one of which said, "the best work environments foster personal connection as well as productivity." I think the coworking space will do just that, and I can't wait.
Great location. Giving up the beach is less-than-ideal, but there is a bit of good news location-wise: we are going to live by Ladybird Lake, a beautiful body of water running through downtown Austin, complete with big trees and a nice long trail for Brian, me and our future pup to take long strolls on. Woo!

Austin's Ladybird Lake. A heavenly oasis in the middle of busy downtown.

So you can now fully see how this move away from San Diego is both sad and exciting. We are leaving behind some beautiful people and memories, but eagerly looking ahead to this new adventure for our family of two. I feel so confident in our decision, and am thrilled by the possibilities that lie ahead.

Have you ever moved from one state to another? What were you sad to leave behind, and what were you looking forward to when you got there?

true beauty: karen marie cummings.

2012-01-25T12:31:00.000-06:00

I haven't done a True Beauty post in a while, I know. Somehow the time just slipped through my fingers and I didn't realize that I'd let this fun series go to the wayside. However, I am glad to say that it's back in action. And who better to start up again with than Karen Marie Cummings? Karen and I have been friends since middle school, and she is truly the reason why I am a follower of Christ today. She is the kind of girl who is comfortable in her own skin, loves to laugh, and doesn't mind tagging along as a third wheel if necessary. As you read, you will see that she is both honest and insanely witty. I kid you not, I laughed out loud as I read through every word of her responses! I am so thankful for her calming presence and positive influence in my life, and that now you all get to know a bit more about her and see what makes her the beauty that she is...

What is your greatest passion in life? How do you live it out?

I have been asking myself this question for years, always expecting the answer to solve everything once I finally know what it is. So of course I have no solid answer. That being said, I have always been drawn to doing things that build myself and others up together. Any interaction that leaves both parties better than they were—I like that. Laughter, a good compliment, a long-needed conversation, or a helping hand at work. All of these things make me feel alive, so I guess that's where my greatest passion is. Great—life solved.

What woman inspires you?

This question puzzled me for the entire drive from San Diego to Los Angeles one day—how do I choose just one inspiring woman? The world has always been blessed by so many strong, dazzling, inspiring, and truly groovy women. Therefore, I've decided to choose them all—every inspiring part of each woman that I admire. So here goes—I am inspired to be a woman with:

The chutzpah of Annie Oakley
The gracious class of Laura Bush
The nurturing spirit of Mama Bisiqua (a woman I met in Uganda who mothered 10 young orphans)
The comedic timing of Amy Pohler
The feminine strength of my Grandma Helen
The resolve of Rosa Parks
The athletic ability of the 1996 USA Women's Gymnastics team (if you were a 10 year old girl in 1996 you know who I'm talking about)

How does what you do for a living fit in with your passions and what you feel is your calling?

Hmm...that question is kind of a killer. I could parade around and tweak my job to sound impressive, but the bottom line is that I work a non-flashy receptionist/catering job at a country club. An ego-booster it is not, but enjoyable it is. That little spark I described earlier from building others up and making connections—I get to fulfill that every day. I once worked in an office with only five people in it, and I almost suffocated. Starting this job and jumping into thousands of conversations, putting on weddings, hosting trivia night, and chatting with 88-year-old gentlemen is like an oxygen-tank-sized breath of fresh air. I am thankful every day that I get to interact with my co-workers, the friendly club members, and the clients that we serve. An elderly lady seriously praised me for almost five minutes for "speaking so clearly into the microphone." Honestly, where else do you get job satisfaction like that?

When do you feel most alive?

I feel most alive when I'm laughing. Hands down. Do you ever laugh so joyfully that it actually feels like you are breathing in? Like you are getting more filled and lighter at the same time? A good laugh is like perfectly cooked squash—sweet, nourishing, warm, and good to your belly. If I had to choose between never laughing again and having a never-ending 80's perm...I would go straight to Walgreens for some L.A. Looks gel.

What do you think is the most challenging thing about following Jesus as a 20-something girl?

At least for me, the biggest challenge is probably finding a community of other 20-something girls following Jesus. The safety of my home church is 10 hours away, and the ease of college-based bible studies are gone. This presents so many new opportunities to meed rad women of Jesus, but the process is just much different than it was in the past. I'm learning to grow and reach in this area, and I encourage any other 20-somethings that are doing this to just go for it. Lean on the words of a wise Jedi: "Do or do not, there is no try."

What do you think is the most rewarding thing about following Jesus as a 20-something girl?

The most rewarding part is how many years we get to follow our Lord! Think about it, some women don't learn about Jesus until late in life, and we 20-somethings get to see him through every stage in our lives. His faithfulness through every decade, every trial, and every relationship will be our living testimony. I can't wait to look back in 40 years at pictures of my wedding and know that Jesus was there. Plus, this is the age where great decisions are made, great movements are started, and great energy is waiting to be used. I love that I can do all that for Him who calls me friend.

time for girlfriends.

2012-01-24T09:00:00.000-06:00

Recently I had a girls weekend with my college bests, and a girls night with former coworkers who have become some of my dearest friends in San Diego. I read in The Happiness Project that "the most reliable predictor of not being lonely is the amount of contact with women," and that's really all the motivation I need (as if I really needed any in the first place) to spend more intentional, quality time with the ladies in my life.

GIRLS WEEKEND: Me, Rebecca, Karli and Rachel at my parents' house.

GIRLS WEEKEND: Pizza party.

GIRLS NIGHT: Emlyn and me at Burlap.

GIRLS NIGHT: Ann and Colleen, across the table.

While Brian is an excellent husband and best friend, he is not and never will be a girl (thankfully). It's tempting to try to make him act like one of my girlfriends when I want to talk about my bangs or a potential new purchase from J.Crew. And while he will definitely pretend like he cares and listen attentively, I know it's really not the role he needs to play in my life. Girlfriends are absolutely necessary and irreplaceable. I am a better wife, a more insightful writer and a more satisfied person in general when I cultivate and nurture girl friendships.

What about you—do you cultivate and nurture your female friendships? Why or why not?

P.S. Tonight is yet another girls night with Emlyn, Ann and Colleen. So timely, right? This time, we'll be watching When Harry Met Sally and snacking on homemade treats. Can't say I don't practice what I preach!

10 thoughts for winter.

2012-01-23T09:00:00.000-06:00

Whole Living is my favorite magazine—closely followed by Real Simple of course—and I find that combining it with an outdoorsy-scented candle and a cozy blanket is always a recipe for relaxation and peace. One of my favorite things they include in every issue is a page with 10 thoughts that tie into their articles for the month. The image above is a snapshot of their thoughts for this month, and below are my personal takes on the ones that relate most to my life right now:

#1 Nourish your mind as carefully as you nourish your body.
Our bodies, minds and souls are undoubtedly interconnected. I think it's tempting to focus energy on the physical (our appearance, our food, etc.), but the mental is just as important. Right now, I'm doing this by setting aside significant amounts of time during my days to read and write—and I'm also now part of a virtual book club with my girlfriends from college (many thanks to you, Google Hangouts, for enabling us to discuss literature from afar).

#4 If you feel the need to be critical, be sure it is coming from a place of kindness.
I am a highly self-critical person, so this thought hits close to home. As Madison discussed earlier this week in her guest post, there is no room for negative self-talk. Instead of talking down to myself and feeling bad, when I see something in life that needs correcting I can choose to be kind to myself and make a plan for improvement.

#8 The best work environments foster personal connection as well as productivity.
This is one that I've spent a lot of time thinking about lately. While I love what I do and I love the freedom and flexibility of working from home, I do crave a designated workspace that will provide social interaction and space for creativity and productivity. Maybe it's a co-working space, or perhaps a home office with a nice, bright window. Either way, I'm committed to finding a place that suits my career choice and enables me to do the good work I aspire to do.

#10 The new year isn't a do-over; it's an opportunity to take your next big step.
I find a lot of freedom in this thought. It's tempting to feel like we have to start all over every January and suddenly become the woman we've intended to be all along; however, I think instead of a blank slate, it's more like a next page. Our lives are always moving forward, and each year we build upon what we've already done—even if things didn't go as planned. This year is just the next page in my book of life, and my chance to take a big step in whatever direction I so desire (like this one, among others).

Do any of these thoughts speak to your life right now? How so?

on love.

2012-01-20T09:00:00.000-06:00

I've written about kindness, joy, compassion, and now love for my series on beauty for Darling Magazine. You can catch up on articles you've missed here, and stay tuned for the final two articles in the series in the coming weeks: generosity and confidence.

Love is an action, a decision, a choice. Love does not require that we like the person on the receiving end, and in fact the most powerful forms of love occur when the one we love is an enemy or someone who has wronged us.

Love is a selfless act. It demands that we set aside our wants and desires in order to meet the needs of others. Love forgives quickly and serves readily. Love calls for sacrifice.

As a newlywed, I’ve learned more about love this year than I did in the past twenty-four. I know the statements above to be true because day in and day out, I either see them in action, or see things fall apart when they are missing.

Aside from this first year of marriage, I experienced real, life-changing love during several difficult years of battling anorexia during college. Consumed with coping with my own pain and emotionally numb, I truly had nothing to offer those around me. I felt worthless and unlovable; looking back I can see that while my actual worth never changed, I certainly was a hard-to-love friend. Nonetheless, my friends stood by me. [Read more...]

When have you experienced love when you didn't feel like you deserved it?

big, wavy hair tutorials.

2012-01-19T09:00:00.000-06:00

In the past year I've had three hair revelations that have completely transformed my getting-ready routine:

the beloved sock bun
fedora (and other) hats
my natural hair texture

I used to spend what seemed like forever either straightening or curling-slash-teasing my hair every morning. Until this year, that is, when I realized that I have wavy hair and it's perfectly okay to embrace my natural texture—in fact, it's easier and my hair ends up looking better overall.

Once I decided that my wavy hair was here to stay, I went to my hair stylist. I let my hair air dry beforehand, and then asked her to cut it in a way that it would fall nicely without heat styling. Voila! Not only do I get to spend less time doing my hair now, but I also have the added benefit of reduced heat exposure. It's a win-win if you ask me.

While I find peace and comfort in this new kind of self-acceptance, I also understand these two facts:

sometimes air-dried wavy hair doesn't turn out as expected, and thus needs a little styling boost
some people don't have wavy hair but wish they did, and thus would like to know how to make that happen

Personally, I rely on the air-dry-plus-hair-putty or big-curling-iron methods, but there are definitely several different ways to achieve big, wavy hair—and it all really depends on the kind of hair you have and the kind of waves you want to end up with. Thus, here are some helpful tutorials I've found on style blogs and YouTube, which I hope will help you handle and love your beautiful mane...

For those of you who are into more of a messy look, like how Carrie Bradshaw's hair looks, love to use several products, and only need or want to do your hair every few days:

For those of you who covet Alexa Chung's short, slept-in waves:

For those who have long hair and love big, soft and bouncy waves (or who have always wanted to know how to properly use hot rollers):

What's your favorite kind of wavy hair? Have any other helpful tutorials to share?

no fat talk.

2012-01-18T09:00:00.000-06:00

Hello, Thoughts by Natalie readers! My name is Madison and I’m a wife, puppy mommy and food editor living in Iowa. And when I find a few extra minutes during the week, I spend it blogging about food and life over at Espresso and Cream. I’m so thrilled Natalie asked me to guest post, seeing as that her blog is one of the most uplifting and honest corners of the web.

Madison, along with her smiling hubby and adorable little pup Nutmeg.

Last week on my blog I talked a bit about my goals for 2012. Typically, I’ve made resolutions such as ‘lose five pounds’ or ‘drop a jean size,’ but I wanted more from 2012. I wanted to work on shifting the way I talk, and think, about my body and to start to see myself the way God sees me. So I decided to institute a ‘No Fat Talk’ policy for the entire year. And because I know that I’m not the only person who has uttered a ‘my thighs look huge’ or ‘look at how fat I look in that photo’ before, I invite you to take the journey with me.

The article that first got me thinking about improving my body talk habits was, surprisingly, from Glamour magazine. Since most women’s magazines skew our perception of what a ‘normal’ body looks like, it seems an unlikely source. But nonetheless, it got me thinking. Here are a few of the more shocking statistics:

97% of women will have at least one ‘I hate my body’ moment each day (source)
On average, women have 13 negative body thoughts a day (source)

From a psychological perspective, it went on to say the following:

Our unattainable cultural beauty ideals, our celebrity worship—those all play a part, says Kearney-Cooke. But another big reason is that we’ve actually trained ourselves to be this way. “Neuroscience has shown that whatever you focus on shapes your brain. If you’re constantly thinking negative thoughts about your body, that neural pathway becomes stronger—and those thoughts become habitual,” she explains. “Imagine a concert pianist. Her brain would have stronger neural pathways that support musicality and dexterity than someone who hadn’t spent her life practicing.”

When I really got to thinking about it, the concept made perfect sense. I was spending countless minutes each day focusing on my ‘imperfections,’ or at least my perceived imperfections. And not only was I focusing on them, I was also giving those thoughts power by verbalizing them and hearing them again with my own ears.

It was a lightbulb moment. How could I ever get better at loving my body if I didn’t practice it with my words and actions? Up until this point, I hadn’t fought the negative thoughts, but instead gave into them easily.

I decided to start practicing, committing myself to not verbalize any fat talk. And while it helped a bit, I soon realized that it wasn’t enough to just not say those things. We all need to fill the void with positive affirmations from ourselves, our loved ones, and, most importantly, God. Here are a few examples:

Ourselves: Think about something you’ve done recently with your body that brings you joy or a sense of satisfaction. Maybe that’s a race you’ve run, an accomplishment at the gym, or a hike you went on that your legs carried you through.
Our Loved Ones: Share with those close to you what you’re trying to do and the motivations behind it. I asked my husband to help support me and encourage me, and when I feel the urge to say something negative about myself, we take a minute to pray together. It’s amazing how quickly time with the Lord pushes away thoughts that are untrue.
God: Spend time in the Bible. Research a handful of Bible verses to keep with you, or top of mind that affirm your beauty and value. When I have the urge to say something negative, I think about Psalm 139:14, which says, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful.” Amen!

Whew! I know that’s a lot to digest right away, but thank you for sticking with me. I can’t help but imagine what beautiful things we can all achieve as women if we channel the time we used to spend ‘fat talking’ toward thinking about how we can be a blessing to others. Maybe it’s a co-worker who needs to hear how great they look, or a friend who needs you to pick up the phone just to say you’re thinking about them. I know that I’ll be looking for a way to fill the time that I used to spend talking negatively about my body. And I can’t wait to see what God has in store.

Madison

Will you take the No Fat Talk Challenge with Madison and me?

colorful aspirations.

2012-01-16T09:45:00.000-06:00

Back in November I shared a cute Kate Spade "Live Colorfully" print and asked you, "What does live colorfully mean to you?" Then at the end of December, I briefly shared some dreams for my future in the life you imagine.

As I've thought about that phrase more and more (you really can't escape it when you follow Kate Spade on Twitter!) I've decided to make it my focus for 2012—so much so that I bought the adorable iPad case pictured above to remind myself.

Thus, in more detail than my previous posts, here's what "live colorfully" will look like for me in the coming year:

pursuing real beauty—kindness, joy, compassion, love, generosity, and confidence—with more fervor and intention than with my physical appearance (read more here)
spending more time outside, enjoying how beautiful nature is and how lovely fresh air smells
continuing to explore my personal style, not being afraid to put together bold outfit combinations that align with my mood, personality or need for creativity
writing more notes to friends, expressing love, encouragement, or even just a friendly hello
taking more risks in my work, such as submitting my writing to more outlets and this new endeavor.
trying new things, especially experimenting with new recipes in the kitchen
being more open to discovering who I am rather than being consumed with defining who I am

While I'm tempted to follow the methodical system used in The Happiness Project, I am going to be a little bit more laid back with my year. Instead, I'll write down these colorful aspirations and keep them visible, and keep track of progress through journal entries and Instagram photos. At the end of the year, I think it'll be clear whether or not my life has a little more color in it.

Do you have a major theme or special focus for your upcoming year?

on compassion.

2012-01-13T09:00:00.000-06:00

When I started writing part three of "The Character of Beauty" series, one woman defined compassion in my mind: Pam Cope. Read more about her, the beautiful ways she's changing the world, and how we can all start to live more compassionate lives...

Compassion can be defined as a sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress together with a desire to alleviate it. Or, in simpler terms, compassion is kindness that is moved to action.

That kind of character is what I see when I think of Pam Cope, a woman who is changing the world every day because of her small acts of compassion. Struck by the poverty she and her husband witnessed while visiting an orphanage in Vietnam, she knew she wanted to change the lives of the children who had to beg on the streets for survival.

They started by renting a small apartment in Saigon to house 15 street children, providing them with food, clothing, education, and family. A few months later, they rented another house and brought 15 more children to safety.

In 2006, Pam’s compassion moved her once again. She saw a little boy named Mark on the front page of The New York Times and knew she had to do something. His story tugged her heart so much that she coordinated a trip to Africa so that she could rescue him from slavery. [Read more...]

Who do you think of when you hear the word "compassion" and why?

a most delightful day: finding my freedom.

2012-01-12T09:31:00.000-06:00

Yesterday, I had the most delightful day. I feel it necessary to preface this with telling you that I was supposed to be away at a conference all day long (7am to 10pm). I had gone the day before to host a table for Wonderfully Made, but aside from meeting a few interesting people, I felt like it was pretty much a wash of a day. Allie and I made the executive decision that it wasn't worth it to spend another full day in a near-empty room talking to nobody.

Thus, yesterday started with the feeling of freedom.

Just knowing that I was supposed to be somewhere else made me feel like a kid playing hooky. Brian has bible study at 6:30am on Wednesdays, and while I usually sleep until the last moment before he walks out the door, I woke up early with him—energized enough to make him a cup of coffee before he left!

Once I had the place to myself, I cracked open my bible study homework, for which I got to read Hebrews 11 and learn more about the story of Rahab—a prostitute who ended up in the lineage of Jesus (I just love seeing the way God redeems everyone, especially those of us with junk in our past).

Then, for the first time in months I felt a strong urge to go for a jog (I know, what?!?). I attribute this urge to something I read in Gretchen Rubin's book The Happiness Project. When she was young, she wanted to redecorate her room to be more sophisticated. Her dad agreed to the room makeover on one condition: that for 20 minutes a day, four days a week she go outside and go for a run. He didn't care how fast or how far she went—or even that she actually ran rather than walked:

"All he asked was that I put on my running shoes and shut the door behind me."

That got me thinking, why don't I do that? Twenty minutes is nothing—I just have to put on my shoes and walk out the door. Thus, today I tried it and let me tell you, it was wonderful! Armed with a motivating new playlist ("Immigrant Song" by Trent Raznor, "Cracks"; by Freestylers, "All Fall Down" by Camo & Krooked, and the like), I found myself doing sprint intervals for twenty minutes on a familiar route in my neighborhood.

If the coffee hadn't done it, the run certainly did: I was refreshed, energized, and ready to take on the day. While waiting for my post-shower hair to dry, I read a blog post by one of my favorite bloggers that inspired me to reach out to her and ask if she would write a guest post for my blog. Much to my delight, she agreed—and even asked me if I would write a guest post for her! This day could not get any better—or so I thought.

After lunch, I had an unexpected and lovely phone chat with Erin. I admit, I really hate the phone. But I can't deny how much hearing her voice and having a real (not email or text) conversation made me feel connected, loved, and encouraged.

On top of all of the already-awesomeness that my day had seen, I stumbled across a candle sale at Bath + Body Works (woo!) while walking to Starbucks. Four candles for $20? Don't mind if I do.

When I finally got to Starbucks—with a big bag of discounted candles in my hand, I might add—my favorite table in the corner was open, as if it was waiting for me to arrive and sit down. I settled in, ordered my favorite super-expensive soy triple-shot cappuccino because I got a free drink card in the mail yesterday, and cracked open my kindle to read for the rest of the afternoon.

I don't mean to brag or make you feel like my life is perfect, but rather I share this with you because I learned something valuable yesterday—some little nuggets of truth God has been trying to teach me for so many months now: Enjoy the small moments and opportunities to be creative. Don't feel guilty about the freedom you have in your schedule—you don't work in an office anymore, so don't live in bondage to the office mentality. Embrace the freedom, savor it, and use it to live each day to the full.

I've needed to grasp this for a while, but it wasn't until I had a day like today (much like my former office days) where I was supposed to be someplace, but instead had the whole day open to my imagination. In a very real and tangible way, I could see how much I've wasted my freedom by trying to live according to other people's standards: Work hours are from 8 to 6. Find one place to work for the day and stay there. Produce, produce, produce.

Now I see that I've had it all wrong, and can finally start fully enjoying the career I've been led to. I can read and write and start new projects. I can go for a walk in the middle of the day, or meet a friend for coffee. I can work from my fluffy bed or the coffee shop down the street. Whatever works best for that day is totally allowed and totally okay. I am free to be myself and live by my own set of rules.

When have you felt like you were living according to someone else's standards?

spoken word: jesus > religion.

2012-01-11T10:59:00.000-06:00

Below is a video from one of our Wonderfully Made contributors, Jeff Bethke. In Jeff's own words, this is:

"A poem I wrote to highlight the difference between Jesus and false religion. In the scriptures Jesus received the most opposition from the most religious people of his day. At it's core Jesus' gospel and the good news of the Cross is in pure opposition to self-righteousness/self-justification. Religion is man centered, Jesus is God-centered. This poem highlights my journey to discover this truth. Religion either ends in pride or despair. Pride because you make a list and can do it and act better than everyone, or despair because you can't do your own list of rules and feel "not good enough" for God. With Jesus though you have humble confident joy because He represents you, you don't represent yourself and His sacrifice is perfect putting us in perfect standing with God!"

How does this change or reinforce your view of Jesus?

life to the full.

2012-01-10T09:00:00.000-06:00

Do you believe this is true? What does "life to the full" mean to you?

sweet potato chili.

2012-01-09T17:45:00.000-06:00

This recipe is adapted from one of my new favorite blogs, Going Home to Roost. Chili is always a go-to meal for me during the fall and winter months because it's hearty, warm, and easily made vegetarian. I love the twist this one has with the sweet potatoes, and found it to be extra delicious when served over rice or quinoa.

INGREDIENTS
Brown rice or quinoa, cooked
1 onion, chopped
3 red bell peppers, chopped
4 cloves of garlic, minced
2 tbs olive oil
2 cans of crushed tomatoes
4 sweet potatoes, chopped into 1/4″ pieces
1 can black beans
5-6 cups water
1 tbs cumin
2 tbs chili powder
Dash of ground cloves
1 tsp cardamom
Avocado, to garnish the top
Salt and pepper to taste

DIRECTIONS

Heat oil in a large stock pot and saute onions, peppers and garlic until onion is translucent (about 5-7 minutes).
Add all of the spices and cook for about another 3 minutes.
Add the water, tomatoes, sweet potatoes and black beans and bring to boil. Reduce heat and simmer until sweet potatoes are tender, about 15-20 minutes. Serve over cooked brown rice or quinoa with sliced avocado.

Do you have a favorite veggie chili recipe? If so, please share!

great work.

2012-01-06T11:19:00.000-06:00

What do you believe is great work? Where do passion and tremendous interest meet in your life? Where are you on the journey toward loving what you do?

celebrate & encourage.

2012-01-05T14:10:00.000-06:00

[photo credit]

A friend once said to me, "It only takes one minute to make someone's day," referring to how simple it is to send a quick text or email to a friend, and how much of an impact that little act can have. Think about it. How loved do you feel when a friend remembers to ask you about how a difficult meeting you were worried about went, or tell you happy birthday, or even, let you know why you're awesome? It totally makes your day!

Inspired most recently by the waitress I met in Rhode Island, I want to be the kind of person who celebrates and encourages others. I admit that I haven't been the best at this over the past couple years. I've forgotten to send birthday cards, neglected to congratulate friends on new jobs, and even missed a few thank you notes. Shameful, yes, but sadly it's true.

So often, girls can become each other's enemies. We can get it into our minds that we will feel better and more worthy if someone else feels worse or less worthy. But the truth is, we're all on the same team. Rather than ignore or compete with each other, let's encourage each other and affirm one another's value.

Although I've been majorly slacking on my personal correspondence for far too long, I'm ready to start fresh in 2012. Number one on the to-do list is to make a master calendar of everything important: birthdays, anniversaries, graduation and wedding dates. From there, it really only takes a minute.

What small steps can you take toward celebrating and encouraging the women around you?

the privilege of a lifetime.

2012-01-04T11:43:00.000-06:00

This is a beautiful quote if you have a grasp of who you are, but a very confusing and frustrating one if you're trying to figure it out. How do you respond to the question, who are you? Do you know the answer with confidence? What is it rooted in? Your beauty or style? Your intelligence, college major or profession? Your relationships?

This is a concept I'm excited to say will be discussed thoroughly in our upcoming Wonderfully Made bible study, Wonderfully Made: Becoming Who You Are In Christ. It's something that we all yearn for—the understanding of who we are and what we're here for—and the good news is that there are answers to those questions.

I tried for years to create myself through my appearance and my work, but I was always left wanting. Only in the past year or two have I really come to see that my identity isn't something I can create or invent by playing a role or wearing a mask, but rather it's something that is given to me by the One who made me.

"For in Him we live and move and have our being." (Acts 17:28)

For me, the great privilege of knowing who I am is actually found in knowing who He is—that is, Jesus. By knowing Him, I know my true self more and more. Through my relationship with Him, I am empowered to become more beautiful than I ever imagined—filled with kindness, joy, compassion, love, generosity and confidence. That is the privilege of a lifetime.

Where are you on your journey toward discovering your true identity? What has helped (or is helping) you in the process?

on joy.

2012-01-03T11:15:00.000-06:00

Good morning, and happy new year! Now that we're all getting back into the swing of things—school, work, life in general—we have high hopes that 2012 will be better, easier, and more prosperous than last year. Inevitably, though, we will all face tragedy, difficulty, frustration and uncertainty at some point between now and next January. Here is my latest article for Darling Magazine—The Character of Beauty: Joy—to equip us to be beautiful women even when life doesn't go as expected:

If I’ve learned one thing in the past few years it is this: joy is not the same as happiness. Rather, It is having hope in the face of darkness and tragedy, and living life with a grateful heart for all of the things we do have, rather than focusing on all that we don’t.

This year I’ve learned the hard way about this kind of non-happiness joy. Through the past eight money-saving months as a newlywed, the sudden deaths of young friends, and the realization that I have no control over the outside world, I’ve come to learn–rather, been forced to learn–what joy really is and how to live it out. I’ve cried, I’ve envied, and I’ve felt more than my share of frustration. But through those feelings and the nasty circumstances, I’ve come to understand joy in ways I never had before. [Read more...]

Have you learned the difference between happiness and joy? How so?

the life you imagine.

2011-12-30T09:00:00.000-06:00

As the new year approaches, I bet I'm not alone in reflecting on the past and dreaming about the future. In so many ways, my life is more than I ever hoped for at age 25. However, there's always more to strive for—better character, new opportunities, more experiences. It's more than natural to dream of things to come, and I believe that God places certain desires in our hearts that he plans to fulfill in His time.

So the question I'm asking myself as January 1 approaches is this: what am I'm imagining for my life in 2012? Briefly, here's what comes to mind first:

Read more books. This means more book reviews for you girls, and more inspiration for my writing and life. I want to check off every book on my to-read list, and take advantage of my free time this coming year by making time for reading at least most days during the week.
Write more—for blogs, online magazines and really any other opportunity that comes my way. Know someone who needs a writer (or an editor, for that matter)? Send them my way. In 2012, I think writing (and editing) is going to be my thing.
Live beautifully. As you know, I recently started writing a series for Darling Magazine about redefining beauty. More than just a good writing idea, it's something I'm learning for myself in a deep way for the first time—and I want 2012 to be a year of progress in that department.

I'm sure that list will get broader and more specific as time goes on, but I think a simple list is a good start. I can't wait to see what comes of this next year—what dreams will come true, what new desires I'll discover, and what kind of opportunities will come my way.

What does the life you imagine look like? What's keeping you from getting there (or at least getting closer) in 2012?

on kindness.

2011-12-29T09:55:00.000-06:00

Good morning, girls! I'm excited to say that part one of my series on redefining beauty for Darling Magazine is up and running. As promised, here's a little preview of the article, and a link to read the whole thing on Darling's website:

What makes something or someone beautiful, really? What is it that makes us stop in our tracks and be left in awe? In nature, we often recognize beauty when it’s unexpected, unique or rare. For example, a rose blooming from a stem of thorns or the sun bursting out of the darkness as it rises. Kindness is like that. It is highly underrated quality in our culture, and something we don’t see as often as we should.

To be kind is to be affectionate, loving, gentle, and of a sympathetic or helpful nature. How many people do you know who exude that?

I cannot write about the beauty in kindness without telling you about the most beautiful woman I know in San Diego. She is radiant beyond belief, always genuine, and refuses to let you walk away from your conversation with her without a hug. Mother Teresa once said, “Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God’s kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.” Rosie is the epitome of that. [Read more...]

Do you know anyone who exudes this kind of beauty? What are some ways you can be more kind in your daily life?

P.S. Don't forget to like Thoughts by Natalie on Facebook!

christmas highlights.

2011-12-28T11:53:00.000-06:00

I don't know about you, but I'm having a hard time getting back into the swing of things this week. Our time at home with family was so relaxing and refreshing, and I find myself wishing I was still lounging on the couch, watching Barefoot Contessa while sipping my morning coffee. Here are a few of my personal favorite moments from our Christmas in the desert...

All dressed up for our family photo, just before the Christmas Eve service.

Opening the first gift—a beautiful Madewell scarf from my parents.

Christmas morning breakfast: avocado toast and hash browns.

Reading by the fire on Christmas afternoon in my snuggly new striped sweatshirt.

I've come to terms with the reality that nobody really expects to get much done during the week between Christmas and New Year's. I suppose I'll just keep that comforting thought in my back pocket as my productivity goes out the window.

What were some highlights from your Christmas?

merry christmas.

2011-12-23T09:00:00.000-06:00

I'm heading home for the holiday weekend today. I can already see the presents under the tree, smell the crisp desert-morning air, and taste the Christmas mimosas. I will be off the radar until Tuesday to spend quality time with the people I love most, but I just wanted to send a little love to each and every one of you.

Thank you for consistently reading, for responding to posts with both funny and profound comments, and for encouraging me with your emails and messages. Your support means the world to me, and I am so thankful for you.

Wishing you a merry Christmas that's full of authentic joy, hope and cheer!

How are you celebrating Christmas this year?

P.S. Don't forget to like Thoughts by Natalie on Facebook!

grateful, joyful, hopeful.

2011-12-22T10:49:00.000-06:00

It seems ironic that I would feel the need to write about thankfulness, especially in light of how messy, intense and chaotic life has been lately. At times like these, when everything on the outside seems to be crumbling and out of my control, I'm so thankful for Brian and for the close friends who support us no matter what.

Although this year has brought us so much fun and joy, we can't help but feel weighed down by certain external circumstances that have come our way. Conveniently enough, we heard a sermon a few weeks about having joy despite those circumstances. It sounds so cliché, and joy seems inappropriate considering all of these situations. However, I've come to learn over the past several years that joy doesn't necessarily mean happiness. Joy supersedes our feelings and circumstances, and overwhelms us with hope that it will all work out in time.

Thus, this is my prayer today: Lord, thank you for your joy, which, in a lot of ways, doesn't make any sense right now. Thank you that joy is present despite the tragedies, frustration and uncertainty, and thank you that we have hope and trust that you will bring all things together for Your good and Your glory.

What are you grateful for today?

goodness and light.

2011-12-21T11:32:00.000-06:00

Christmas is only a few days away, but it doesn't fully feel like it's time. I want to feel the spirit of Christmas, but it isn't coming as easily as it usually does. Our tree is set up in the corner and decorated with twinkle lights. Red and green are everywhere. Every parking lot has become a hazard zone. Christmas is near, I know, but I need a little nudge to push me into it all the way. Sometimes I forget what this season is really about, and I get caught up in gifts and food and angry people cutting me off at the mall. While those things certainly mark the holidays, they are not the true spirit of Christmas.

When I saw the print above, I suddenly remembered the old classic Do You Hear What I Hear?—specifically these lyrics below:

The Child, the Child, sleeping in the night,
He will bring us goodness and light,
He will bring us goodness and light.

Let's all remember those words over the next few days. Despite the chaos and the holiday parties and the nasty drivers out there, let's remember what December 25th represents: God coming to earth as a human child, bringing goodness and light to this dark and broken world.

In what ways have you seen Jesus bring goodness and light?

the character of beauty: a series.

2011-12-20T09:00:00.000-06:00

Yesterday on Darling Magazine I introduced a new series I'm writing for called "The Character of Beauty." In the coming weeks, I'll be discussing the various qualities that make us truly beautiful women, including kindness, joy, compassion, love, generosity and confidence.

I'll make sure to let you know when they're published, and in turn I hope you'll take the time to read the articles. Not because I want more readers or recognition, but rather so we can do this thing together. I may type the words, but anything truthful or inspirational that comes from them is of God, not me. Let's learn about what real beauty is made of, start living it out, and inspire others to do the same.

We’ve all met that woman–the one who is so radiant we can’t take our eyes off of her. She’s beautiful, but we can’t quite figure out why. Is it her hair? Her figure? Her clothes? After speaking with her for a few moments, we know that her beauty is far beyond the physical. She exudes something lovely, contagious and rare.

I can only imagine how powerful it would be if we all grew into that kind of woman I just described–if we all started accepting who we are, loving our bodies, understanding our true value, and spreading real beauty wherever we go. [read more...]

UPDATE: Read part one (kindness) here.

be yourself.

2011-12-19T09:29:00.000-06:00

Lately I find myself on a very "be yourself" kick. I can't get enough of it, as cliché as it is. It's something I've heard and been told over and over again, yet it's really sinking in for the first time in perhaps forever. As I said in the it takes courage post, I've spent a lot of my life trying to imitate the people around me whom I admire. And while I think it's important to have role models and strive to be our best selves, we really do need to be just that--ourselves.

How do you battle the temptation to imitate others? In what ways have you grown to love something unique about yourself?

the standard of beauty.

2011-12-16T09:00:00.000-06:00

The following is a video of Blair Linne performing "The Perfection of Beauty", from Christian rapper and self-titled Lyrical Theologian Shai Linne's fourth album, The Attributes of God. Take a few minutes to sit back, soak up and enjoy the poetic words she speaks about true beauty:

"God does not conform to some standard of beauty outside of Himself. In His very nature, God is the superlative of everything good. He is the standard by which all other beauty is to be measured and understood. God's beauty is prototypical, inherent and intrinsic. All other beauty is derived, contingent and dependent."

Shai Linne
The Nature of Beauty

Does your view of God shape your view of beauty? Or is your definition of beauty rooted in something separate from God?

it takes courage.

2011-12-15T10:30:00.000-06:00

This print hits so close to home for me. When I look back at the last five to ten years of my life, I realize I've spent far too much time trying to be someone that I'm not, and not enough time discovering and embracing who I am. Oh, how I wish I could have that time back!

Thankfully, the truth is a little louder and the lies are a little softer than they once were. I see now that there is beauty in the uniqueness of us all, and I'm willing to find out what I'm truly made of.

Why do you think it's so scary to discover and become who we really are?

book recommendations for holiday reading.

2011-12-14T11:30:00.000-06:00

We all love the holidays for so many reasons, but one of my favorites is certainly all of the free time to read the books that have been on my list for months. Since Christmas is just under two weeks away (can't believe it!!) and some of you are already on Christmas break, I thought I'd share my favorites that I've already read, as well as my top must-reads for the new year.

From this year...

Bittersweet. Beautiful essays on change, grace and learning the hard way. Shauna has a way with words that capture you from the very start (you can read my review here).
Unbearable Lightness. A raw account of disordered eating from actress Portia de Rossi. Despite it's dark and disturbing truth, it leaves you with hope (you can read my review here).
Bossypants. A brilliant and comical autobiography-of-sorts by the very witty Tina Fey. Ideal light-hearted reading.
Surprised by Hope. A detailed overview of the church's beliefs about heaven and and earth in contrast with the Bible's truths about those matters. This book by N.T. Wright has shaped my faith more than any other book, aside from the Bible.
The Ragamuffin Gospel. My all-time favorite book, written by Brennan Manning. The truth in this book about grace, worth and identity reach deep into my core. I first read it in 2009, and I've re-read it every year since!

For the holidays and early 2012...

Cold Tangerines. Shauna Niequist's first book—which I somehow managed to skip over completely. A collection of stories that celebrate the extraordinary moments hidden in our everyday lives.
Is Everybody Hanging Out Without Me? The Office's Mindy Kaling's hilarious autobiography. An absolute must-read (I'm told) for anyone and everyone who likes Tina Fey's Bossypants or thinks The Office is funny.
The Happiness Project. A memoir by Gretchen Rubin, who spent a year test-driving the wisdom of the ages, current scientific studies, and lessons from popular culture about how to be happier.
The Help. I'm so behind on this, I know. I've been putting this off for way too long (thank you, Karli, for lending it to me so long ago...I promise to return it soon!)
Unsqueezed. A witty collection of thoughts to help women discover why God really gave us bodies and what we can do with them to serve him and others.

What was your favorite book of 2011? What will be the first book you read in 2012?

P.S. Don't forget to "like" Thoughts by Natalie on Facebook!

grandma hilda's christmas cookies.

2011-12-13T09:00:00.000-06:00

[photo credit]

This week's recipe is less-so healthy and more-so delicious and easy. That's what the holidays are about, right? These cookies are by far my favorite holiday treat. I've loved them since my childhood, when my Grandma Hilda would make them every year at Christmas and put them in a festive tin to share with us when we came over. For years I marveled over their perfectly sweet and salty combination, and then one year I finally grew up and asked, "Grandma, could you give me the recipe for these to-die-for cookies?"

Let me tell you, that was the best and worst decision I've ever made. Best because they are just so mouth-wateringly wonderful; worst because they are so darn addictive. Girls, you've been warned: if you find yourself in a house alone with these cookies, you just might eat every single one.

Now, without further ado, I give you the recipe:

INGREDIENTS
1 cup butter or Earth Balance
1 cup dark brown sugar
Saltine crackers (with salted tops)
12 oz bag semisweet or dark chocolate chips
Chopped almonds or pecans (optional)

DIRECTIONS
Heat the oven to 400 degrees. Cover a baking sheet with aluminum foil and cover with one layer of Saltine crackers. In a saucepan, heat butter and sugar together, stirring until well incorporated; bring to a boil for 3 minutes and be careful not to burn the sugar. Immediately pour over Saltines and spread evenly with a rubber spatula. Bake for about 5 minutes, until sugar is bubbly. Pull out of the oven and sprinkle the bag of chocolate chips over Saltines and sugar. Once melty, spread chocolate evenly with rubber spatula and sprinkle with almonds or pecans, if you're using them. Allow to cool completely (on countertop or in refrigerator); once the chocolate is completely hardened, break into pieces and keep chilled until serving.

Do you have a nostalgic Christmas treat? (Recipes are welcome!!)

a moment for my mother.

2011-12-12T10:51:00.001-06:00

Good morning and happy Monday, girls! I hope your weekends were restful, and that you're ready to tackle the week ahead. This weekend my parents came to San Diego to visit Brian and I. We ate good food, went to the movies (FYI, I highly recommend The Descendants), and spent quality time catching up on the latest in each of our lives.

While chatting over dinner, she mentioned that CDW, a technology products and services provider, is giving away $250,000 this Christmas season to a range of good causes, including American Cancer Society. You see, my mom has been actively involved with fundraising for ACS ever since my Aunt Paula was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2005 (thank God she is in remission these days!). She coordinates a Relay for Life team with her sisters and friends every year, and she's always thinking of new ways to raise funds that will go toward finding a cure for this terrible disease.

[from left: my mom, Paula and my Aunt Denise]

Her latest request is so simple, any of us could do it: "Please take a second and vote for American Cancer Society so that we can get the most votes and receive the $250,000 donation. Thanks."

It takes just 5 seconds to vote, and it makes a world of a difference for the millions of people who are currently battling cancer or who will one day face it.

Will you take a moment to vote and help my mom raise more money for ACS?

mad about hats.

2011-12-09T09:00:00.000-06:00

I've never really been a hat person. Other than my go-to baseball cap that I wear whenever I go running, I've steered clear of hats because I didn't think I could pull them off. At the same time, I've always envied girls who could wear hats with such coolness and class, so I finally decided that it was time I got into the hat game:

[nervously wearing my fedora for the first time]

The most important thing when it comes to choosing the perfect hat is how it fits. I have a really small head, so hats that work for me are few and far between—but thankfully they do exist! Like the sock bun, this is another bad-hair-day solution that enables us all to skip a few more hair washings if we so desire. As the colder air dries our our hair and gives us more less-than-lovely hair days this season, here are some beautiful hats in all price ranges that are worthy of hiding our winter hair:

Albertus Swanepoel for Target Francoise Hat

Merona Felt Cloche Hat

Xhilaration Menswear Trilby with Self Band
(this is the one I have)

Camel Bow Beanie

Nixon Dutch Captain's Hat

Kate Spade Bellevaux Beret

Do you own any non-athletic hats? Which style is your favorite?

laugh, think, cry.

2011-12-08T09:00:00.001-06:00

“To me, there are three things we all should do every day. We should do this every day of our lives. Number one is laugh. You should laugh every day. Number two is think. You should spend some time in thought. And number three is, you should have your emotions moved to tears, could be happiness or joy. But think about it. If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that's a full day. That's a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you're going to have something special.”

Jimmy Valvano
1993 ESPY Speech

Do you agree with Jimmy? Why or why not?

healthy girl talk: redefining beauty.

2011-12-07T09:02:00.001-06:00

Below is my most recent article for Darling Magazine. You can read the beginning of the article below, or find the full version on their website here.

When we think of beauty, we tend to think about the externals: hair, eyes, skin, body shape.

It’s a habit that has been drilled into us by the culture that surrounds us, but it’s based on a lie.

Beauty is so much more than our physical appearance and it’s time we started redefining it, starting with healthy talk about our bodies. We need to stop pinching, poking and complaining about everything that we perceive as not-good-enough, and start celebrating all that is wonderful about what we have. Not only does this change the way we view ourselves, but it also begins to change the definition of beauty for the women around us.

In her book The Good Body, Eve Ensler describes a time when she was traveling in Africa and asked a native woman named Leah if she liked her body. The woman responded confidently, “Do I like my body? Do I like my body? I love my body. God made this body. God gave me this body. My fingers, look at my fingers. I love my fingernails, little crescent moons. They lead right up to my arms–so strong–they carry things along. And my legs, my legs are long.”

Immediately after hearing this, Eve began to complain about her own body only to be cut off by Leah: “Eve, look at that tree. Do you see that tree? Now look at that tree. (Points to another tree) Do you like that tree? Do you hate that tree ‘cause it doesn’t look like that tree? Do you say that tree isn’t pretty ‘cause it doesn’t look like that tree? You’re a tree. I’m a tree. You’ve got to love your body, Eve. You’ve got to love your tree. Love your tree.” [continue reading...]

What small steps will you take toward redefining beauty today?

a lofty, beautiful pursuit.

2011-12-06T09:00:00.000-06:00

I saw this on Pinterest and felt a renewed inspiration to pursue these goals with intention and vigor. They are lofty, indeed. But, they are also worthy of the pursuit. The way I see it, we can either let life pass us by, or we can live each day with the intention to do something great.

While the goal of "doing something great" sounds daunting, it's important (especially for those of us who are prone to performance-based worth) to remember that small things can be great things: calling a friend, sending someone a kind note, buying coffee for a stranger behind us in line.

This is what these goals look like to me:

Live beautifully. Demonstrating kindness, generosity, selflessness, tactful honesty, love, and a joyful heart, regardless of circumstances.
Dream passionately. Daring to dream the grand and impossible, and pursuing even the wildest of dreams because it feels so wrong to let them slip away.
Love completely. Forgiving those who don't deserve it, respecting those who are different than we are, and sacrificing time and resources so that others can life fuller, more beautiful lives.

What do these beautiful goals look like to you? In what ways do you pursue them in your own life?

roasted root vegetable salad.

2011-12-05T11:00:00.000-06:00

This week's recipe is my new favorite winter salad, and is inspired by Giada De Laurentiis' recipe on Giada at Home. While I'm sure her version is absolutely to-die-for, it was far too complicated and involved for me to get on board with. Thus, I simplified it and created my own version:

INGREDIENTS
Arugula
Assorted veggies: such as sweet potatoes, parsnips, broccoli, and cauliflower
Quinoa
Edamame, shelled
Champagne vinaigrette

PREPARATION

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Chop your veggies and drizzle with olive oil, salt and pepper. Roast for 20-30 minutes, or until they're all soft and slightly crispy on the edges.
Meanwhile, cook the quinoa following these instructions.
Once vegetables and quinoa are ready, combine in a bowl with a handful of arugula, and 1/4 to 1/2 cup of shelled edamame. Drizzle with champagne vinaigrette and enjoy!

What's your favorite winter salad?

life is fleeting: coping with the loss of a friend.

2011-12-02T09:00:00.000-06:00

[Jared and I in high school, after a basketball game]

I found out yesterday that my friend Jared unexpectedly passed away in his sleep earlier this week. I cannot fully express in words the depth of sadness that I feel for his wife, daughter, brothers, and parents. Only a year older than I, he had his whole life ahead of him. If you knew Jared, you would know that he had a bright smile kind heart that made anyone feel important and valued.

When I first found out, I felt confused and baffled. It couldn’t be true, could it? As I read Facebook post after Facebook post of condolences to their family, I started sobbing. Right in the middle of Starbucks. I gathered my things and ran out the door, only to sit in my car and sob some more. As I began mourning the sudden loss of his life, I couldn’t help but remember the other young friends I’ve lost. Chad, Amy, Nicole, my cousin Josh. All died in their twenties, unpredictably and all-too-soon.

Life is so fleeting. We feel like we’re going to live forever, but we never know how long we have. Rather than living in fear that we might suddenly lose someone we love, my challenge to all of us is this: live today and every day to the fullest.

Let’s forgive those who have wronged us, whether they deserve it or not.
Let’s tell our family and friends how much they mean to us.
Let’s call our parents, grandparents and mentors to thank them for the impact they've made in our lives.
Let’s send a card to someone who needs encouragement.
Let's take the time to watch the sunset and enjoy God's simple gifts.
Let's remember that we're never too young to love, inspire and empower those around us.

My thoughts and prayers are with Jared's family this week. Jared, Chad, Amy, Nicole, and Josh: you are all missed terribly, and the world simply isn't the same without you here.

Have you lost a young friend or family member? How has it impacted the way you live your life today?

the statement necklace.

2011-12-01T09:00:00.000-06:00

Good morning, and happy December! Is it really the last month of the year? I simply can't believe it. With 2011 coming to an end, it's no surprise that I've been doing a lot of reflection. Although much of it relates to how I've grown emotionally and spiritually, a teensy bit of it has to do with the superficial reality that my personal style has changed (scratch that—the fact that I've developed any sense of personal style at all!).

In addition to developing love for thick-framed glasses, button-down shirts, wardrobe simplicity, and big buns, there's one thing that has made the biggest impact on my style: the statement necklace. The beauty of wearing a bold piece of jewelry is that the rest of the outfit can stand to be simple. It's a minimalist's dream, and the easiest way to update a whole closet full of clothes without breaking the bank.

Here are some of my favorite styles, courtesy of Pinterest...

Kate Spade Cascade Bib Necklace

Fossil Gold Glitz Statement Necklace

Bauble Bar Champagne Crystal Bib

Etsy Pearl Bib Necklace

Kate Spade Pearl Street Statement Necklace

Obviously metallics, neutrals and pearls are my thing. But what you like might be totally different. The key is finding bold pieces that make simple outfits like jeans and a t-shirt look instantly put-together and fabulous. After all, why spend time fussing over our clothes when we could be out there changing the world?

Have you incorporated statement necklaces into your accessories yet? What do your favorites look like?

P.S. The winner of the November Top Commenter contest is RACHEL JOHNSON!! Great job, girl. I'll be sending you your $25 Starbucks card this week. Thank you everyone for participating. I hope the discussions can continue—I love hearing your thoughts!

be-YOU-tiful: pretty is overrated.

2011-11-30T09:00:00.001-06:00

Earlier this week Brian and I watched "America the Beautiful," a documentary about our unhealthy obsession with media- and fashion-defined physical beauty. Although a more detailed review is in the works, I felt so fired up by the movie that I wanted to do something immediately to affirm real beauty, and give us all something true and positive to fill our heads with.

This is what I know to be true:

Beauty is more than what we look like—it's what radiates from our souls.
Beauty is embracing the body we were born with, and respecting it with the choices we make.
Beauty is belly-deep laughter and taking time to smell the flowers.
Beauty is unique to each and every one of us.
Beauty is kindness, love, generosity and selflessness.

Pretty may sell magazines, clothes and products, but beauty changes the world.

What makes you uniquely beautiful?

P.S. Today is the last day of the November Top Commenter Contest. Catch up on your reading + commenting, and you could enjoy your Starbucks holiday beverages for free this year!

little drummer boy.

2011-11-29T09:00:00.000-06:00

Although my all-time favorite Christmas song is O, Holy Night (specifically the version by The Fray), this season I just can't get enough of The Little Drummer Boy. It seems to be playing everywhere, and the lyrics are resonating with me in a way they never have before.

Perhaps the problem before was that I'd only heard the ultra-traditional versions, and the words just seemed to blend into the music. Nonetheless, I've grown to love this song because of what it's about: God smiling upon someone bringing their best, even as little as heart-filled drumming.

My favorite version of this song is done by Phil Wickham. A video of him performing live and the lyrics to the song are below. If you can get past all of the pa-rum-pum-pum-pums, I think you'll agree with me that The Little Drummer Boy is a song for those of us who need to remember the kind of God Jesus really is...

Come they told me, pa rum pum pum pum
A new born King to see, pa rum pum pum pum
Our finest gifts we bring, pa rum pum pum pum
To lay before the King, pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,

So to honor Him, pa rum pum pum pum,
When we come.

Little Baby, pa rum pum pum pum
I am a poor boy too, pa rum pum pum pum
I have no gift to bring, pa rum pum pum pum
That's fit to give the King, pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,

Shall I play for you, pa rum pum pum pum,
On my drum?

Mary nodded, pa rum pum pum pum
The ox and lamb kept time, pa rum pum pum pum
I played my drum for Him, pa rum pum pum pum
I played my best for Him, pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,

Then He smiled at me, pa rum pum pum pum
Me and my drum.
Me and my drum.

As I repeatedly watch that video and really let the words seep in, I can't help but think about what kind of gift I can bring to God during this Advent season. I think perhaps the greatest gift I can bring him right now is consistency and honesty in my time with Him.

Do you believe that Jesus only wants our best, not perfection? What small gifts can you bring to Him this Christmas season?

advent: a season of hope.

2011-11-28T11:53:00.001-06:00

Yesterday marked the beginning of this year's Advent season. Advent is a special time because it's all about anticipation, expectation and hope. I think Shauna Niequist describes it best in her book Bittersweet:

"Advent is about waiting, anticipating, yearning. Advent is the question, the pleading, and Christmas is the answer to that question, the response to the howl. There are moments in this season when I don't feel a lot like Christmas, but I do feel like Advent. Advent gives us another option beyond false Christmas cheer or Scrooge. Advent says the baby is coming, but he isn't here yet, that hope is on its way, but the yearning is still very real. Sometimes, depending on what we've lost this year, Advent saves us from giving up on Christmas and all its buoyant twinkling-light hope forever. Advent allows us to tell the truth about what we're grieving, without giving up on the gorgeous and extravagant promise of Christmas, the baby on his way."

Advent allows us to stay hopeful and future-focused, despite feelings of sadness, loss or discouragement. While I'm incredibly thankful that this year has been a mostly joyful one for me, I can think back on several years when I couldn't bring myself to buy into all of the Christmas joy. What's important for us to remember is that it's okay to feel loss, and also to anticipate the good that's to come. God turns all of our sorrows into joys eventually. We just need to let him.

What does this season of hope mean for you this year?

happy thanksgiving.

2011-11-23T09:00:00.000-06:00

[photo credit]

Brian and I are heading home for the weekend to celebrate Thanksgiving with my family for the first time in three years. I can't wait to spend quality time with people I love, lounge in the hot tub, and eat leftovers all weekend long. I'll be off the radar through Monday, but until then I want to take a moment to quickly share some of the many things I'm thankful for this year:

Brian's love and friendship.
My parents' hospitality and generosity.
Girlfriends that have become sisters.
Good health.
The opportunity to do work that I love.

It's so easy to take life's blessings for granted, and to write them off as good luck or coincidence. But I think it's important—always, but especially this time of year—to recognize the gifts we've been given by God's grace and provision, and to cultivate hearts of gratitude. After all, it's not happy people who are thankful, but rather thankful people who live joyful lives regardless of circumstance.

What are you most thankful for this year?

perfectly awkward: why bad dates don't mean it's over.

2011-11-22T10:48:00.001-06:00

[photo credit]

My first date with Brian was actually an accidental one. We had gone hiking all day with friends, and agreed that all of us would reconvene at Kenna's house at 10:30pm to watch Slumdog Millionaire since nobody had seen it yet. With a usual bedtime of 10pm, I knew I wouldn't make it until the movie night if I just went home, so I asked around to see if anyone was free to hang out.

One by one, each of my friends told me they would love to, but they already had plans. When I turned to Brian, though, he said "well, we've got to eat dinner, right?" Casually, cooly, he sort of asked me out on our first date—and I was definitely not complaining. Although I'd only had a crush on him for about 24 hours, I was glad to have a chance to get to know him better.

We decided on a local sushi spot, and ordered tons of food that we didn't end up eating. In the excitement of the new access to one another's lives, we totally lost our appetites and fed instead on the joy of a potential new relationship.

Sounds so perfect, right? Just wait. Fast forward one week and Brian asked me out on our second date, this time it was a real one. He made reservations at an expensive restaurant in Del Mar and it was clear this was a date. We both had high hopes after our sushi date, but they were quickly deflated.

He didn't talk enough. I talked too much. The food was bad. We weren't being ourselves. We tried to go to Starbucks afterward, but it was closed. We then attempted to take a walk, but it started to rain. Nothing was going right, and when I got home I told my roommate that as kind as he was, I was pretty certain we would remain just friends.

Our next date was a little better, though nothing to write home about. Still fairly awkward, and not the fairy tale situation one would imagine when they think about dating the person they'll eventually marry. You may be wondering: How (and why) did it all work out? Why didn't you move on and wait for the sparks to fly with someone else?

I'll tell you why. Brian was someone worth figuring it out with. Sure, our first few dates were pretty awkward and less-than-magical, but I knew the kind of person Brian was. I had seen the way he interacted with others, always treating them with kindness, respect, and a servant's heart. I knew he had a strong faith and was a man with (and continually pursuing) godly character. Oh, and he was tall (sort of kidding, sort of not).

In dating, there are certain things that are red flags, and there are certain things that just need figuring out. I think those of us who have a idealist mindset tend to give up too quickly, passing up quality guys in favor of finding someone that everything is perfect with. Girl, I want to challenge you to change it up. If you see a red flag, by all means it's time to go. But if awkwardness or a not-quite-perfect-fit is the issue with a guy who has godly character and a loving heart, wait it out. Of course there's still a chance that he's not the right one for you, or he might end up being the one you spend your life with.

Take it from me and give the nice guys a chance.

Why do you think we tend to value first date chemistry over good character?

quinoa with leeks and herbs.

2011-11-21T12:10:00.001-06:00

I'm going out on a limb here and trying something new: recipe sharing. Brian and my girlfriends know that I love to cook and try new, healthy recipes all the time. I love vegetables, natural foods and fresh, home-cooked meals...and I hope you do too!

My desire to share healthy recipes is two-fold. First, I believe that feeding our bodies well--with foods that energize and nourish--helps us live our lives to the fullest. One of the best ways we can glorify God is through honoring, respecting and caring for the bodies he's given us. And what better way than through the joy of eating delicious food? Additionally, hospitality is something God values in us and preparing food for others is an easy way to extend love to friends and family.

For my very first recipe post, I want to share a brand new favorite in the Borton household: quinoa with leeks and herbs (adapted from a couple cooks). You may recognize it from our Thanksgiving trial run, and let me tell you, it's a crowd-pleaser.

INGREDIENTS
2 cups quinoa (white, red, or mixed)
3 cups vegetable broth
1 pound leeks (we used two packages of the already-prepared ones from Trader Joe's)
1/4 cup fresh sage
1/4 cup fresh thyme
1 1/2 tablespoons olive oil
1/3 cup dry roasted pecan pieces
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
Fresh ground pepper

PREPARATION

Cook the quinoa following these instructions, replacing water with vegetable broth.
Chop off the dark green stems of the leeks, then slice them in half length-wise. Place each leek half cut-side down on the cutting board, then chop it into thin slices (resulting in half-moon shapes). Remove the leaves of the thyme, and chop the sage leaves.
In a skillet, heat the olive oil. Add the leeks, and saute about 4 minutes, just before they begin to brown.
When the quinoa is done, stir in the sauteed leeks. Then add the fresh sage, thyme, salt, and fresh ground pepper.

Will you try this recipe? If so, who will you make it for/share it with?

live colorfully.

2011-11-18T09:17:00.001-06:00

This year, Kate Spade has been doing a marketing campaign called "Live Colorfully." Each month they select a different color to focus on, and they have special items in their stores based on the color of the month.

While I've only purchased one thing from Kate Spade this year (ok, I've only purchased one thing from Kate Spade ever), I have thoroughly enjoyed this campaign because of it's message: live colorfully. It's so simple, and I think it can mean different things to different people.

From this print, I most connect with think, celebrate and dress colorfully. This year has been one of creativity in those three areas, and I've loved every minute of it.

What does "live colorfully" mean to you?

rediscovering my journal.

2011-11-17T11:28:00.000-06:00

A few weeks ago while cleaning out one of our storage boxes, I stumbled across one of my many journals from college. This one was from 2004-2005: my first year of college. It was like seeing an old, dearly loved friend. I read through it cover to cover, like I would a new book.

As I flipped each page, I remembered the trials and victories of my past. I smiled at some entries, and nearly cried at others. It's amazing to see how much progress really does happen in a matter of years. To see the things I used to struggle with completely disappear, and also to recognize that there are new joys and sorrows during this new season of adult life.

More than just remembering who I was six years ago, I remembered why I journaled in the first place. Writing down my thoughts and prayers has always been as natural as breathing. It's the easiest way for me to communicate with God in a real, honest way; and tedious as it can be to record daily thoughts and feelings, it is a beautiful way to keep memories over time.

This past year I've strayed from my journaling habit. Rather than regret it--or think I've already stopped journaling so why should I start it up again?--I'm just going to pick up where I left off. Day in, day out, whether I'm in the mood or not, I'm renewing my commitment to put the pen to the paper. I know I'll thank myself for it later.

How do you measure your growth and progress over the years? How do you remember your trials and victories?

thanksgiving trial run.

2011-11-16T10:52:00.001-06:00

This week we pre-celebrated Thanksgiving with Karen and Greg, and I got a renewed sense of respect for people who prepare an entire feast completely solo. I volunteered myself as the chef, and thankfully I only had to make four things. Although I often pre-celebrate Christmas with friends, I've never really done a Thanksgiving trial one with anybody.

The catalyst for all this was actually our mutual love for veggies--although I've been a vegetarian for years, Brian, Karen and Greg will be skipping the Thanksgiving turkey for the first time ever. As a result, our perplexed families have no idea what to feed us, and we needed to do some research, get creative, and do a taste test.

The final menu came out as such:

Mixed greens with zucchini and edamame in a champagne vinaigrette dressing.

Quinoa with leeks and herbs.

Baked apples with (veggie) sausage stuffing.

And of course, a yummy pumpkin pie.

More than just a taste-testing gathering of friends, our evening together was truly a holiday celebration. We ate, we made paper snowflakes, we stretched out on the carpet to aide our digestion (please tell me other people do that on the holidays?!?), and we even watched Home Alone.

Smiling because the dishes are done!

Stretching out.

Paper snowflake success.

Overall, it was an absolutely perfect, heart-filling evening of friendship that I highly recommend trying. The holidays are fun with family, but they can be even richer when we celebrate with our communities of friends too!

Do you pre-celebrate holidays with friends? What are your favorite traditions with them?

the art of being a woman.

2011-11-14T09:52:00.001-06:00

Good morning, friends! Today I am excited to tell you about the launch of a new online magazine that's all about the art of being a woman. It's called Darling Magazine, and I first learned about it earlier this year from my friend and look-alike Emily. Knowing my love of writing and passion for empowering and encouraging women, she put me in touch with Sarah Dubbeldam, the magazine's creator and head editor. Right off the bat, Sarah and I hit it off over email and I managed to squeeze myself into the pool of contributors. What a dream come true!

The magazine is organized by personas, such as The Intellectual, The Stylist, or The Humanitarian. My area of focus is The Beautician, and I'll be writing weekly about beauty, body image, and healthy eating and living (you can read my first two articles here and here). If you haven't heard of Darling yet, I encourage you to check it out. Read the articles, soak up the playful femininity of the website, and engage in discussion on true femininity.

In case I haven't sold you on it yet, here's their artful mission statement:

Which of the Darling personas fits you best? Why?

passion + tremendous interest.

2011-11-11T10:39:00.001-06:00

I love this print for two reasons:

it's absolutely beautiful, and
it's a guiding principle in my life.

The reason why I work with Wonderfully Made rather than a marketing agency, invest so much time in social media and blogging, and am okay with my local Starbucks being a makeshift office is because of this very statement. Investing in women and empowering them to live lives of confidence and beauty is something I am deeply passionate about, and tremendously interested in. It is what makes me tick, what keeps me up at night, and what gets me fired up.

When passion and tremendous interest meed a need around us, we become change-agents. Maybe we impact only a couple people, but change is change and every bit of it counts.

What are you passionate about and tremendously interested in?

i believe in pink.

2011-11-09T10:06:00.000-06:00

I wrote this blog post specifically for Know Your Value, but as soon as I finished it I decided it had to be shared here too. Mostly, I'm just curious to see what kind of statements you girls will come up with! Confused? Read on...

I stumbled on this print while perusing on Pinterest this morning. It's such a fun and playful little statement of belief from Audrey Hepburn, an iconic beauty for sure. It got me thinking, what do I believe in? Of course, there are the obvious beliefs, including Jesus and gravity. But let's just agree that those are understood, and this is not a complete statement of every belief I carry. After thinking for a few minutes, here's what I came up with:

I believe in women.
I believe that hot tea soothes the soul.
I believe in love that lasts forever.
I believe that bad things can be redeemed in time.
I believe that confidence is the best accessory.
I believe that each morning is a fresh start, and
I believe we are worth more than we can comprehend.

Alright, it's creativity time. What do you believe in? Come up with your own statement and share it!

i like big buns and i cannot lie.

2011-11-08T09:00:00.000-06:00

Last week I finally learned how to make a sock bun, and girls let me tell you, it is a hair life-changer! Since I've promised to write more posts on style, I'm going to teach you how to make a sock bun today. I mean, it's really a skill every 20-something female should know how to do. It'll save you from bad hair days all year long--you can thank me later.

Find an old sock that is a neutral color and cut off the toe to make the sock into one long tube.
Roll the sock into itself until it is shaped like a donut.
Put your hair up in a ponytail.
Pull the end of your ponytail through the center of the sock donut and begin rolling down toward your head (as shown below, courtesy of the 3 Pink Dots blog):

To finish, tuck in any straggling pieces of hair (I had a few since I have layers) and voila! You have a big, beautiful bun!

What's your go-to bad hair day solution?

rainy day reflections.

2011-11-07T09:00:00.000-06:00

The rain we had all day on Friday put me in the best mood. Yes, I said best. I love clouds, and I love the rain. Cool weather is my power zone. I smile more, I think happier thoughts, I'm more productive, and generally in a better mood.

The rain renews everything, providing nourishment for the plants, as well as a good washing for our dirty cars. Rain also is a metaphor for tough times--without the dreary darkness of a rainy day, how could we truly appreciate the warmth of the sun?

I confess, I'm someone who is prone to loneliness. While I love working full-time with Wonderfully Made, working from home can sometimes be especially challenging for me. Usually on tough days I wallow in my loneliness and dream of what could make it better, inevitably falling into the comparison game and the false belief that my life could be absolutely perfect if I lined everything up just right.

Thankfully, God sent me some beautiful rain last week. I like to think that He knows when I need it, and that he makes it happen just for me. A few weeks ago we had a wild rain storm all day. In the quietness of that morning, God revealed Himself to me in a way I haven't experienced in a while. I was alone in our condo because Brian had a morning bible study to be at, and instead of feeling the loneliness creep in, I felt calm. I felt peace. I felt God's soothing presence, and I knew I could just rest.

When have you experienced God's peace in a tough time or a time of chaos?

just for giggles.

2011-11-04T12:02:00.000-05:00

This post is totally unrelated to any of the topics I write about, but I laughed so hard when I saw this video that I had to share it with everyone. Jimmy Kimmel issued this challenge to the parents of America: tell your kids you ate all of their halloween candy, and videotape it. Here's the footage...yes, it is as funny as you think it's going to be. Happy Friday, friends!

Funny, or cruel? What would you have done if your parents did this to you?

gaining weight, and growing business.

2011-11-03T09:00:00.000-05:00

Today I came across an article Lucky Magazine posted on their website this month: "Jessica Simpson Has a Reason to Smile". It details the changes that have taken place in her life over the past five years, including her success and her love life. However, the most interesting part of the article--in my opinion--is when she makes a connection between her weight and her success in business (emphasis added by me):

Simpson’s size became a newsstand seller and the subject of running jokes in tabloids and blogs: “What happened to the hot chick from Newlyweds?” But everything seemed to shift when Simpson did the unthinkable: Instead of spending six hours a day on the Exercycle and going on a juice cleanse, she ditched that celebrity ideal and said, “I like the way I look.”

And did women respond. Her fans rallied around her on Internet message boards (“No matter what size Jessica Simpson is she is gorgeous!”) and on the street: “All kinds of women started coming up to me and saying what an example I was setting by not constantly dieting,” she tells me as we sit at a conference table in her airy, high-ceilinged showroom. People stopped seeing her as the ditzy blonde with the hot body, and instead Simpson became a real person with real, familiar struggles. “Everybody fluctuates, but I’m open about my weight and I’m still confident,” Jessica says. “I didn’t cry about it too much.”

Ironically, as her waist grew larger, both her life and her fashion business, which she launched in 2005, improved dramatically. “I got so much scrutiny for putting on extra pounds, but I think that the decision not to make myself anorexic was actually great for branding,” she says. “Because when you’re really, really skinny, not everybody can relate to you.” All those supportive ladies, it seems, went out and bought what Simpson had to offer: affordable apparel in all styles. And all sizes.

I'm glad that Jessica was able to overcome the pressure to be super-skinny, and is now a positive role model for women of our generation. Let's follow in her footsteps and declare this to ourselves and the world: I like the way I look!

Click here to read the full story on Lucky Magazine's website.

Do you find Jessica Simpson more or less relatable now? What makes someone relatable to you?

wardrobe simplification.

2011-11-02T10:44:00.000-05:00

I didn't do it on purpose. I've just moved so many times over the past several years that my wardrobe started to dwindle down to bare minimums. Nobody likes moving boxes and boxes and clothes, right? Because of all the moves, I've gotten into the habit of regularly weeding out any unwanted items from my closet. Have I worn it this year? Does it fit me? Do I LOVE it? Does it mix and match with other items in my closet?

Sometimes it's difficult, as I often see the potential in clothing rather than what it actually is (i.e. an ill-fitting shirt, or jeans that just don't sit right on my body); however, it's important to have a closet of clothes that fit you as you are right now.

Maybe I'm alone in this, but as my wardrobe simplified, I found it easier to get dressed in the morning, and I discovered my own personal style. Not only that, but I also experienced healthier self- and body-image. Gone are the days of self-criticism as I get dressed. When we only buy and keep clothes that fit us (our size and our style), we begin to see ourselves as others see us--BEAUTIFUL and CONFIDENT!

This year I actually took some time to list out the basics that my ideal wardrobe would include. The best starting point for this is nailing down what you feel most like you in. T-shirts and jeans? Dresses and boots? Basic items with tons of accessories? You may remember my recent post about my obsession with button downs. Because of that, I decided that they would be a big focal point of my wardrobe (along with fun, bold accessories, which I also really love).

From there, I set aside all of the clothes that I didn't love, and took a look at what was left. Once I had a clear picture of the clothes I has that I would confidently wear, I could then make a list of things that were missing. In my case, it was tank tops and tees that I could use to layer my clothes. For you, it might be a piece of jewelry that work with everything you wear. The best thing about your wardrobe is that it's yours!!

QUESTION: What kind of clothes make you feel most like yourself?

a contest of sorts.

2011-11-01T09:00:00.000-05:00

Hey girls! I've decided to try something new for this month: the November Top Commenter Contest!

When I started this blog, I hoped that it would not only be a place for me to share my thoughts, but also a place for us all to engage in discussion about topics related to being young women in this world. I see the stats, so I know you're reading the posts...I just wish I heard what you were thinking!

So, I'm going to incentivize you a bit with a reward. Starting today, the person who comments the most during the month of November will receive a $25 Starbucks gift card. The gift of hot beverages during the holidays? Can it get any better?!?

I hope that inspires you to share your thoughts after you read mine. Let's get the conversations going!

QUESTION: Will you participate in the November Top Commenter Contest?

a pumpkin story.

2011-10-31T09:00:00.000-05:00

In honor of Halloween today, I wanted to share a cute little story that my dear friend and former running buddy Karla emailed me a couple weeks ago. When a woman was asked what it's like to be a Christian, she responded:

"It is like being a pumpkin. God picks you from the patch, brings you in, and washes all the dirt off of you. Then He cuts off the top and scoops out all the yucky stuff. He removes the seeds of doubt, hate, and greed. Then He carves you a new smiling face and puts His light inside of you to shine for all the world to see."

So there you have it my little pumpkins! Happy Halloween to you. Try not to get too much of a sugar coma today.

QUESTION: How are you celebrating Halloween this year?

true beauty: kayla mertes.

2011-10-28T11:00:00.000-05:00

I first met Kayla a year and a half ago at our very first Wonderfully Made retreat. She was bubbly and funny and kind, and I knew from the start that we would become good friends. Sure enough, by the end of the weekend we had decided to live together in San Diego, and the friendship took off from there. Kayla is radiant from the inside out, and a friend I'm so thankful to have!

Natalie: What is your greatest passion in life? How do you live it out?

Kayla: One of my greatest passions is spending time with other women, laughing together and sharing our lives. I love Girl World! I live it out by being surrounded by women most of the time! Working with the ministry Wonderfully Made has allowed me to meet so many incredible women and to be able to build young girls up and be poured into by wiser women. Our desire in Wonderfully Made is that young women would walk in the truth that they are precious, loved by God and worth much more than what the world has to offer. I love planning parties, events, and retreats to get all the women I love in the same place at the same time! A few more passions are my family, working with children, education, and Africa.

N: What woman inspires you?

K: The women in my family are always inspiring me! My mom is vibrant--an authentic follower of Christ--and she has devoted her life to loving our family and offering truth to hundreds of other women. My grandmas have given me a love for past and future generations because of the stories and wisdom they’ve shared with us grandkids. They are loving, supportive, and joyful women who have created a legacy of lasting marriages and selfless sacrifice for the generations to come. My sister is different than me in so many ways and I love her view on life. No one makes me laugh more than she does and she inspires me to be real and not to worry so much.

N: How does what you do for a living fit in with your passions and what you feel is your calling?

K: I work full-time for the John Corcoran Foundation, my grandfather’s non-profit devoted to literacy. It originally began when he started sharing his secret of not being able to read until the age of 48. The Foundation teaches children and adults how to read and provides inner city families with free computers, internet, reading software, and tutors. My role fits in perfectly with my calling of working in the non-profit sector, improving the lives of children, and carrying out my grandfather’s mission. We have a nation of 44 million adults who are reading below the basic level, which also means these people cannot read the Bible to themselves or to their children.

N: When do you feel most alive?

K: Traveling and experiencing new cultures! I also love sitting at a restaurant for hours and hours with girlfriends eating good food and laughing. I feel alive when I am teaching children … whether its teaching preschoolers about how much Jesus loves them or teaching a child who has been struggling with school his whole life, how to read! I love watching my students grow and change with confidence and joy.

N: What do you think is the most challenging thing about following Jesus as a 20-something girl?

K: Learning to have balance in my life and pursue only what God wants me to. A huge challenge in my life is over-commitment, scheduling, and trying to find a healthy balance for my body, mind, and spirit. I want to learn how to better follow God’s leading of how He wants my time spent.

N: What is the most rewarding thing about following Jesus as a 20-something girl?

K: My life is so abundant! I know it is only because of Jesus. Knowing Him is the joy of my life. He has given me a full life of the sweetest, most fun friends, a loving family, and purposeful work and ministry. I look around and cannot believe that I get to lead this life. Being at this age and not yet having a family of my own allows me to travel spontaneously, spend time with friends, have the freedom to try new things, and devote time to my passions. As a 20-something girl, I love that we all get to discover more about who God made us to be and how He is shaping our futures. Plus it’s really fun to not be as insecure as I was in high school!

the most important rule of beauty.

2011-10-27T09:00:00.000-05:00

“If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important rule of beauty, which is: who cares?”

Tina Fey
Bossypants

Physical beauty is a perfectly natural thing to desire, but why do you think we place so much value on it?

anchor of hope.

2011-10-26T09:00:00.000-05:00

I'm part of a Tuesday morning women's bible study that's currently studying the book of Hebrews. Tuesdays have become my favorite day of the week because of the rich community I have there, as well as the solid teaching.

Yesterday Jan from the teaching team taught on Hebrews 6, specifically explaining why Melchizedek was such an important person for the author to talk about (if you have no idea who Melchizedek is, fear not...I didn't either until 24 hours ago, and that's not what this post is really about). Although it was complicated for most of us to wrap our minds around old Jewish tradition, she did a great job explaining. The ultimate point of chapter 6--and my biggest takeaway--is that we are given hope in Jesus, who is the anchor of our souls.

To solidify that point, she had us listen to a song her son Jon (of Switchfoot) wrote called "Only Hope," and now I want to have you do the same. Watch the video, listen to the words, and read the lyrics. Soak in the beauty of hope we have to rest in through Jesus.

There's a song that's inside of my soul
It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again
I'm awake and in the infinite cold
But You sing to me over and over and over again

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray to be only Yours
I pray to be only Yours
I know You're my only hope

You sing to me of the song of the stars
Of Your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again
When it feels like my dreams are so far
You sing to me of the plans that You have for me over again

And I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray to be only Yours
I pray to be only Yours
I know You're my only hope

I give You my empathy, I'm giving You all of me
I want Your symphony singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs I'm giving it back

And I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray to be only Yours
I pray to be only Yours, I pray to be only Yours
I know You're my only hope

We are drifting boats in the strong currents of this world, but we have hope in Jesus as the anchor that keeps us from drifting away. What does this hope mean to you?

beautiful and true.

2011-10-25T09:00:00.000-05:00

Ok, I confess...I gave in and am totally addicted to Pinterest! Too often it sucks the time out of a perfectly good, would-be-productive day. But I love it nonetheless. Here are some pretty and inspirational words I've collected over the past month. I suppose not all time on Pinterest is wasted...

Which is your favorite?

button down shirts.

2011-10-24T09:00:00.000-05:00

I am officially completely obsessed with button down shirts. They are, in my mind, the perfect top to throw on for any occasion. Wear them with shorts or jeans, pumps or flats, under a sweater or vest, with pearls or a belt...the options are endless. They are the modest fashion-lovers' best friend, and I intend to wear them a lot more often.

By itself.

Layered and belted.

Under a sweater.

With shorts.

Me in my new pink gingham button-down. Obsessed!

QUESTION: What do you think of button-downs? Love them or hate them?

my resting place.

2011-10-21T09:00:00.000-05:00

At bible study two weeks ago, our leader Spring asked us to share what our special "resting places" were. Specifically, where do we go and what do we do when we need to step away from life's chaos and just be alone with God. Immediately I knew my place. It's sort of cheating, because it's not a place per se, but it is a setting that I can always rely on for much-desired rest.

Coffee shop. Journal. Hot beverage.

That's all I need. Give me those three things, and I'm resting. The energy and sense of community that coffee shops have remind me that we're all connected and never alone. My journal is basically my brain in writing--it's the one place where I can really process my crazy thoughts and invite God into them. And hot beverages, well, they have a very physical way of soothing the body (and the soul!). They are a must.

On that note, I think I'll head over to my local resting place and spend some time in peace.

QUESTION: Where is your resting place?

growing into beauty.

2011-10-20T09:00:00.000-05:00

My beautiful, 88-year-old grandmother.

“You could see the signs of female aging as diseased, especially if you had a vested interest in making women too see them your way. Or you could see that a woman is healthy if she lives to grow old; as she thrives, she reacts and speaks and shows emotion, and grows into her face. Lines trace her thought and radiate from the corners of her eyes as she smiles. You could call the lines a network of 'serious lesions' or you could see that in a precise calligraphy, thought has etched marks of concentration between her brows, and drawn across her forehead the horizontal creases of surprise, delight, compassion and good talk.

A lifetime of kissing, of speaking and weeping, shows expressively around a mouth scored like a leaf in motion. The skin loosens on her face and throat, giving her features a setting of sensual dignity; her features grow stronger as she does. She has looked around in her life and it shows. When gray and white reflect in her hair, you could call it a dirty secret or you could call it silver or moonlight.

Her body fills into itself, taking on gravity like a bather breasting water, growing generous with the rest of her. The darkening under her eyes, the weight of her lids, their minute cross-hatching, reveal that what she has been part of has left in her its complexity and richness. She is darker, stronger, looser, tougher, sexier. The maturing of a woman who has continued to grow is a beautiful thing to behold.”

Naomi Wolf
The Beauty Myth

What traits of true beauty do you hope to grow into as you age?

spread good thoughts.

2011-10-19T09:50:00.000-05:00

This weekend while visiting my parents on the east coast, my family and I took a day trip to Providence to grab lunch and catch a movie. We found a cute little restaurant near the movie theater called Nick's on Broadway and sat down to a nice bite to eat.

When the waitress came to take our order, she turned to me and said, "Oh, you're pretty!" I'm sure I had a weird and confused look on my face, because she immediately explained herself: "I've realized recently that people never share the good thoughts on their mind, but if they did everyone would feel so much better about themselves."

Amen to that! You know what? I did feel better! I felt great all day, because that kind waitress decided to share her good thoughts and make my day. I can't help but wonder how much relationships would improve if we all shared encouragements with each other. Even scripture encourages us to do this:

"For God did not appoint us to suffer wrath but to receive salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ. He died for us so that, whether we are awake or asleep, we may live together with him. Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing." (1 Thessalonians 5:9-11)

Girls, let's encourage each other! Let's spread good thoughts when we think them and no be afraid to build one another up. Yes, it's scary to tell a stranger that she has nice boots, or to tell your boss that you like her management style, but kind words go a long way and are not easily forgotten.

QUESTION: Will you take the challenge and spread good thoughts this week? If so, come back and share how it went!

whales for life.

2011-10-18T09:00:00.000-05:00

One of the many reasons I love my girlfriends is that we email each other regularly--whether to check in, to share news, to pass along links or YouTube videos. On Thursday, Erin sent us an email titled "whales for life" with a link to a post from the Sunnie Brook beauty blog. In the post, Sunnie included a story she read on beauty that was oh-so-profound and true. Read and be inspired...

A while back, at the entrance of a gym, there was a picture of a very thin and beautiful woman. The caption was “This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?”

The story goes, a woman (of clothing size unknown) answered the following way:

“Dear people, whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, seals, curious humans), they are sexually active and raise their children with great tenderness. They entertain like crazy with dolphins and eat lots of prawns. They swim all day and travel to fantastic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea or the coral reefs of Polynesia. They sing incredibly well and sometimes even are on CDs. They are impressive and dearly loved animals, which everyone defend and admires.

Mermaids do not exist. But if they existed, they would line up to see a psychologist because of a problem of split personality: woman or fish? They would have no sex life and could not bear children. Yes, they would be lovely, but lonely and sad. And, who wants a girl that smells like fish by his side?

Without a doubt, I’d rather be a whale.

At a time when the media tells us that only thin is beautiful, I prefer to eat ice cream with my kids, to have dinner with my husband, to eat and drink and have fun with my friends.

We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn’t enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies. We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated. Every time I see my curves in the mirror, I tell myself: “How amazing am I?!"

Regardless of my size, I pray that I will be like the whale described in this story. What a beautiful picture of what really matters in life--of what is truly beautiful and worth living for. Ladies, let's stop trying to be mermaids and start living the whale's life!

QUESTION: How does this story affect your view of beauty?

a journey to the east coast.

2011-10-12T20:48:00.000-05:00

For the next 4 days I'll be soaking up this view from my parents' house on the east coast, reflecting on and celebrating a quarter century of life. Best birthday gift ever! Although I love the condo Brian and I live in, there's nothing quite like being in a real home, with your family, with lots of delicious free food in the fridge, and unlimited amounts of Food Network shows on the DVR.

I'm desperately hoping that the leaves have all changed color and that the weather stays cloudy and cold as the weather people have predicted. Absolutely cannot wait to get there. Let's just pray I get some sleep on the red eye.

Happy weekend...be back Monday!

QUESTION: What do you like best about being at home with family?

insecurity, pride and true confidence.

2011-10-10T12:17:00.000-05:00

Good morning, girls, and happy Monday! I started reading Beth Moore's book So Long, Insecurity a few weeks ago, and managed to chip away at more of it during a lovely, lazy Sunday morning at Starbucks with Brian. I just have to say, that woman knows how to connect with people! Every time I read something of hers I find myself feeling like I'm sitting across from a close friend, hearing the words straight from her mouth. When she says "beloved," "dear one," and "girlfriend," I believe her!

If you haven't read this book of hers yet, I definitely recommend it. I've learned so much already about the deep insecurities in my life that I've refused to deal with over the years, and it's beautiful to finally understand and let God heal them. My favorite excerpt came from the section on pride, the one insecurity factor that is actually within our control (the others are external, like circumstances, losses, media, etc.)...

"As tempting as it may be, mustering our pride is not the answer to our culture's vicious assault on women. We really can regain confidence without stirring up arrogance. Pride lives on the defensive against anyone and anything that tries to subtract from its self-sustained worth. Confidence, on the other hand, is driven by the certainty of God-given identity and the conviction that nothing can take that identity away."

I don't know about you, but I'm ready to ditch my insecurities and my pride, and live in true confidence. I want to fully grasp my God-given identity and believe that nothing (and nobody) can take that away from me. Real confidence is rooted in our faith. Not by believing in God, but by believing God when he tells us who we are and what we're made for.

QUESTION: What do you think real confidence looks like in action?

when grace strikes.

2011-10-04T09:00:00.000-05:00

“Grace strikes us when we are in great pain and restlessness. It strikes us when we walk through the dark valley of a meaningless and empty life... It strikes us when, year after year, the longed-for perfection does not appear, when the old compulsions reign within us as they have for decades, when despair destroys all joy and courage.

"Sometimes at that moment a wave of light breaks into our darkness, and it is as though a voice were saying: ‘You are accepted. You are accepted, accepted by that which is greater than you and the name of which you do not know. Do not ask for that name now; perhaps you will find it later. Do not try to do anything now; perhaps later you will do much. Do not seek for anything, do not perform anything, do not intend anything. Simply accept the fact that you are accepted.’ If that happens to us, we experience grace."

Paul Tillich, The Shaking of the Foundations

QUESTION: When have you been struck by grace?

a force of beauty.

2011-09-30T09:00:00.000-05:00

Earlier this week I got an email from my dear friend Shawna about a commercial that I just had to watch. It's part of the new Bare Escentuals ad campaign, Be a Force of Beauty. The message?

Pretty is not enough. Pretty is nice. It's fine. Pretty can turn heads. But beauty? Beauty can change the whole world. Pretty is what you are, but beauty is what you do with it. Pretty lifts spirits. Beauty makes them soar. So smile. Be bold. Show your beauty. Because when you put pretty into action, there's no limit to what you can do.

QUESTION: What steps can we take to move from our obsession with pretty into a pursuit of real beauty?

contract signing & bible study planning.

2011-09-26T11:05:00.000-05:00

On Friday Allie, Christie, Kayla and I met at the W Hotel in Westwood to plan our outline and assign chapters for the bible study we're writing this fall for Wonderfully Made! We signed our contract, prayed for guidance about the study, and worked through all of the logistics, like what voice we'll use in our writing, what each chapter is about, and who will be responsible for each chapter.

Though we planned to spend the whole day planning and discussing the study, we didn't anticipate watching a photo shoot in the middle of the hotel! We had the honor of meeting the nice photographers from Life + Dog Magazine, actress Mary Lynn Rasjkub, and her cute pups Ginger and Emily. What a fun surprise!

We'll be asking for your input as we begin the writing process, so keep your eyes peeled for your opportunity to be part of our bible study in the coming weeks.

QUESTION: When have you seen the Lord open doors in your life in ways you hadn't imagined?

hello, fall.

2011-09-23T09:00:00.000-05:00

Well, it's official. Fall has finally arrived! Happy Friday and happy fall to you! This is my favorite season of the year for so many different reasons. Some of those reasons are superficial--like the opportunity to wear boots and scarves and drink hot beverages twenty-four-seven--but I assure you that my true love for fall is rooted in more than just personal style preferences.

What makes fall so special to me, something worth eagerly waiting for all year long?

It's a time of redemption. Fall is a season of renewal, where decay turns to beauty. The tired summer trees--though shedding their leaves to conserve energy for winter--become beautiful pieces of art for us to admire. It's one of the many ways God exchanges the ashes in this world for His beauty.

It's a time of newness. New Year's Day, in our culture, has become the token time to make resolutions and become the person we've always dreamed we could be. But in my book, fall is where all of the newness and change comes in. September means back-to-school-time, which for the majority of our young lives has been a brand new year. Now more than ever is a time to consider our lives--our habits, quirks and tendencies--and to ask ourselves if we're becoming the women we've been created to be.

It's a time of unity. Now is not just a time for pumpkin spice lattes, layered clothing, and colorful landscapes, but also the beginning of the holiday season. Soon we will be carving pumpkins, drinking hot cider, gathering with our families to give thanks, and opening presents under the tree. Fall marks the beginning of a long season of togetherness, community and celebration, which are really what life is all about.

QUESTION: Are you glad it's officially fall? Why or why not?

P.S. Here's a first-day-of-fall challenge for you to discover, grow and be renewed during this season: Take 15-30 minutes this week to look at your life. Who are you becoming? Notice the areas that are contributing to and the areas that are taking away from the woman you aspire to be, and make a plan for growth. Share it with a friend and ask for accountability in at least one area. New year's resolutions are so last year.

coming tomorrow...

2011-09-22T15:26:00.000-05:00

...is the official beginning of the best season of the year! Although fall in San Diego is pretty pathetic, I still appreciate the cloudier skies, almost-noticeable change of the leaves, and slight drop in temperature. In the morning I'll share more thoughts on the partially superficial, partially profound reasons why I love fall, but until then all of you fall-lovers can admire the beauty below.

Stay tuned tomorrow morning for more in-depth thoughts on what makes fall so special...

wisdom from bobbi brown.

2011-09-20T09:00:00.000-05:00

I love, love, love this little top ten list by beauty guru Bobbi Brown. It's so simple, so true, and so inspiring. In addition to being the founder of Bobbi Brown Cosmetics, Bobbi is also committed to empowering women of all ages toward healthy self-confidence (as you can see below)...

I don't even think I could pick a favorite from this list, so I'll share the top three that I strive for in my life at the moment...

Spread beauty. This is something I'm deeply passionate about. Life is beautiful, and we should notice it. YOU are beautiful, and you should know that. Spreading real beauty is the reason I write a True Beauty post every month, and it's one of the things I strive for the most.
Laugh out loud. Laughter is medicine for the soul. It makes everything good, even for just a moment. Although there was once a season in my life when I had no joy, now I enjoy a good belly laugh nearly every single day. My laugh-out-loud inspiration? Rachel Johnson. That girl has a laugh to admire.
Focus on the positive. I like to think of life with a glass-half-full mentality. I admit, I often end up seeing the positive because I start off by thinking through all of the negatives. I set my expectations low (which is totally pessimistic of me I admit), and from there I can see nothing but the positive in the situation. It's round-about, but it keeps my mind on the positive nonetheless!

QUESTION: Which one of Bobbi's top ten do you strive for the most? How so?

food, enemy or friend?

2011-09-19T12:38:00.000-05:00

Good morning, girls! How was everyone's weekend? Brian and I just got back from what seemed like a month-long vacation, and strangely enough, I feel glad to be back into the routine of daily life. I loved relaxing lakeside and poolside as well as seeing friends and family, but I've missed being home. It's nice to sleep in our bed, go for a walk around our neighborhood, and sip coffee on our balcony again. I love home sweet home.

Today's post is about having a healthy relationship with food. A while back I read an article from Women's Health Magazine called "Why We Love Food", which shed some light on the social, cultural and biological factors that impact how we eat. At the end they share some helpful tips for befriending food again and I wanted to share it as an encouragement to any of you who have struggled with food issues in the past, or are currently struggling with them.

You can't alter your DNA, change your cultural background, or turn back the clock and make your pregnant mother drink vegetable juice. But now that you understand how these and other factors influence the way you eat, you can work toward making each new experience with food a pleasurable one. It's a matter of giving yourself permission to enjoy what's on your plate instead of fretting that you're not eating the right thing, the right amount, or the right way, says Lombardo. Here are some other tips:

Focus on your food.
You may not have time to savor every bite of every meal, but turning off the TV and sitting at a table will help you take more pleasure in your food.

But don't be hypervigilant.
"Being too aware of what and how much you eat can turn you into a food obsessive," says Wansink. "Not to mention that having a mind-set of 'If I walk two miles, I can eat this many chips' is a terrible way to live."

Don't tell yourself no.
Deprivation diets set you up for failure. "It's a lot more liberating to say 'I can eat whatever I want, whenever I want, as long as I know how much I actually want,' " says Wansink.

Listen to your gut.
If you like steak, order it, even if everyone else is having salad.

Don't take on others' emotional static.
"Repeat this mantra: 'I choose to enjoy this food,' " says Lombardo. At the end of the day, each of us has to decide for ourselves if food is the enemy or a dear friend.
QUESTION: How does this change the way you view your food?

funky frames: warby parker glasses.

2011-09-12T12:31:00.000-05:00

A few months ago, Allie shared about Warby Parker on the Wonderfully Made Blog. Since then, I have become completely obsessed with getting my very own pair of their chic yet fairly-priced frames (which, thankfully, arrived in the mail yesterday). More than just another fashion accessories company, Warby Parker operates under a "Buy a Pair, Give a Pair" model (much like Tom's Shoes).

They make choosing frames super easy with their home try-on program. You just pick out five frames you like, and they ship them to you for free. After five days, you ship them back (again, for free) in the same box. Easy peasy. My favorite pair from my home try-on was the Sibley...

Warby Parker seems to hit all of the marks: stylish, affordable, and charitable. All of the frames do have a similar, thick-framed look, but if that's the style you're going for, then I say they're a win! Check out all of their fun women's styles on their website here.

Would you buy frames from Warby Parker? Why or why not?

kindness.

2011-09-09T09:00:00.000-05:00

"Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile."

Mother Teresa

QUESTION: How will you extend unexpected kindness to someone today?

yearning for joy.

2011-09-08T09:00:00.000-05:00

Over this past year, there have been quite a few tragedies in Brian's and my circles of friends. From death and sickness to tough friendships and trouble at work, so many people seemed to be having a rough season in 2011. The always inspiring C.S. Lewis once wrote,

Human history is the long terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which will make him happy.

It's tragic but true. How often have you looked back on your life (or looked at the present) and realized that you are desperately searching for joy and happiness in all the wrong places? Your boyfriend, your family, your grades, your job, your clothes--none will ever satisfy the yearning for joy that is deep in your soul. That, girls, can only come from the one who created you to yearn for it. You may be one of those people who is in a rough season.

Maybe you are battling with lies about your self-image, maybe you feel dissatisfied with your daily work, or maybe you just feel apathetic about life in general. When I feel that way, I like to remember that we were made to live fully alive and to have life abundantly. If we aren't experiencing it now, we will experience it in time. God is a redeemer and a healer. He comforts us when we're down, and promises to renew all things in time.

"I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow." (Jeremiah 31:13)

QUESTION: What have you turned to (or are you currently turning to) in order to satisfy your soul's yearning for joy?

love by observation.

2011-09-07T09:00:00.000-05:00

"I never liked jazz music because jazz music doesn't resolve. But I was outside the Bagdad Theater in Portland one night when I saw a man playing the saxophone. I stood there for fifteen minutes, and he never opened his eyes. After that I liked jazz music. Sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself. It is as if they are showing you the way. "

Donald Miller
Blue Like Jazz

QUESTION: Have you ever learned to love something through observing or knowing someone else? What was it?

things i don't do.

2011-09-06T09:00:00.000-05:00

This post is 100% inspired by a chapter in Shauna Niequist's newest book, Bittersweet, which I read earlier this year and absolutely loved (see my review here). Shauna was the featured guest at a women's Christmas tea I attended, and when she spoke on stage she shared this entire chapter with the women in the audience. The beautifully crafted words of honesty fluttered through the air and we were all ears.

Shauna described herself as a list-maker who never could figure out how so many busy women could keep it all together. One day over lunch, her friend Denise told her, "What’s hard...is figuring out what you’re willing to give up in order to do the things you really care about." Those words stuck with her for a while until she realized what was necessary:

Deciding what I wanted wasn’t that hard. But deciding what I’m willing to give up for those things is like yoga for your superego, stretching and pushing and ultimately healing that nasty little person inside of you who exists only for what people think.

So, there's the question I'm asking myself. What am I willing to not do in order to be the person I really want to become? First, as Shauna did, I must consider what matters to me.

Things I do.

I pray, study God's word, and grow in my faith each year. My faith is what makes me who I am, and what shapes me into the woman I am growing into each and every day.
I invest in my family. My parents raised me to be who I am, and Brian will be at my side as my new family for the rest of our lives. I call regularly, I make time, I keep myself available. One day if kids enter the picture, I'm sure I'll be glad I practiced this one in my non-motherhood years.
I keep my best friends close, even when we live far away. No matter where we end up or move to (already we're scattered around California and Texas), having friends that are like family is one of the greatest gifts from God. These people are what, in a later chapter in the book, Shauna refers to as the "home team." It's become my new favorite term.
I honor my body with the way I eat and exercise. Too many years of abuse and judgement ruined my self-esteem and prevented me from living my life feeling fully alive. I am finally in a place of freedom, and I choose to live freely in love by treating my body the way it should be treated: as a wonderfully made and unique creation of God.
I get a full night's sleep and wake up early. Morning is my favorite time of day, why sleep in?

Next, I have to consider what I am willing to sacrifice in order to keep doing the things I listed above. What would I give up so that I can maintain the values that are important to me?

Things I don't do.

I don't over-commit my time. I fell into this trap too often in college, over-scheduling my calendar to feel important and keep busy. But in the past few years since graduation, I've come to value down time, rest time, time to be available to the family and friends who are so dear to me. Yes, there are times when I am tempted to sign up for every single group and club that exists in my town, but that doesn't mean that I give into the urges anymore. It's not worth the sacrifice.
I don't stay up late. Like I said, morning is the best in my book! So unless it's New Year's Eve, I'm on vacation, or a friend is having a crisis, you can expect me to be hitting the hay around 10:00 p.m.
I don't pursue close friendships with men. This is so simple, and maybe seems silly, but it's the least I can do to protect my marriage. I love Brian more than anyone in the world, and I couldn't imagine ever confiding in any man other than him. However, if we don't guard our hearts and we build up friendships with men who aren't our husbands (for those of us who are married, anyway), we create an opportunity for disaster in the future. When it doubt, leave it out...well, close friendships with men, that is.

This list will always be evolving, changing, and growing as the years go on. I'll add more things I do, and more things I don't do, but I feel like this is a solid start in the right direction. Listing what matters to me puts everything into perspective, and it makes saying no a whole lot easier when I realize that saying yes would compromise that which I hold so dearly.

QUESTION: What are you willing to give up in order to do the things you really care about? Or, in other words, what are things that you don't do?

happy labor day.

2011-09-05T10:30:00.000-05:00

Happy Labor Day, friends! I am currently splashing around in the lake with my best of friends (much like the photo above, taken exactly one year ago today). Enjoy the long weekend!

QUESTION: How did you celebrate Labor Day this year?